Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Things I Know
In my last post a reader asked me what happened with us. I told her I wish I knew. This is what I do know. About a month ago the body guard broke up with me. I guess I never should have starting referring to him as “J” on here. Maybe that jinxed things. I doubt it. Today my boss asked if the body guard and I wanted to go to a soft opening of a restaurant. At first I thought about telling him that we already had plans but decided that I would just tell him the truth. I haven’t even told most of my friends about it. Everyone, including me thought we would be together forever. We got along great, or at least I thought we did. I am broken hearted, depressed and just plain shocked. I guess no matter how much I loved him (love him), he doesn’t love me back the same way. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me face to face or at the very least, call me on the phone. The last words he said to me were “I love you too”. I had called him to see if he was at work. I was going to stop by and see him. As I was calling him, he was leaving. I waved at him and told him I loved him and would just see him later. He said Love you too. He had been sick that week, or at least he told me he was sick. I wonder now if his sickness was just a reason not to see me. I had tried to call him Thursday or Friday and he didn’t answer the phone but text back to say that the cold had gone to his chest and it hurt him to talk. He text me late Friday night to see what I was doing and I told him I was watching TV and he said he was doing the same thing. Sunday I didn’t hear from him and just thought he was still sick, so I didn’t bother him. I decided to make some ribs on the grill. The Body Guard makes some killer ribs!! I was always harassing him telling him mine were better. I took some pictures of them and went to post them on FB and when I did, I saw that he had deleted every picture of me. Not just a few but every picture. Talk about a shock. I called him and he didn’t answer, so I text him to ask what was going on and he told me that he needed some time to himself, that he needed to think some things through in his life. I have no idea what those things were. In hind sight, I believe those things he needed to think about were me and he had already done just that. I miss him. I’m taking one day at a time. Some days are Ok and some days are horrible. Today is one of the horrible days.