Wednesday, July 10, 2013
This Aint Your Mama’s Broken Heart!
When I hear this song I can’t help but think if my own Mother saw me now, she would have told me the same thing. Go and fix your makeup, girl it’s just a breakup. Run and hide your crazy and start acting like a lady, cause I raised you better gotta keep it together even when you fall apart. Well at least the fix your makeup part and hide your crazy part is something my Mother would have said. She might have even said cause I raised your better but that part would not be accurate (That part is a whole other post for another day). I remember when I was about 16 or 17 years old. I met my Mother at the Mall with a girlfriend. I remember trying so hard to look good. I put makeup on and even rolled my hair. We walked up to greet my Mother and she looked at me and said and I quote “You look like something the Devil drug in”. I will never forget those words. I was mortified. 1st I couldn’t believe she said that in front of my friend and second, I don’t know what I could have done to look any better. Maybe I didn’t wear the right clothes. Who knows? All I do know is that from that day forward I worried about how I looked. I think Sunday I hit an all time low. I’m so thankful that I took off for the weekend. I found out that someone changed their phone number. He ended up giving it to me but I don’t think he really wanted to. I think the worst part was when I called the Dancing Queen and asked her to text him to see if it was just me that was getting the bounce back. She took a deep breath and said she was so sorry to tell me that he had called her Friday or Saturday to let her know he had changed his number. Talk about a slap in the face. I think it hit me right then that he just wasn’t into me anymore. Just 2 weeks ago he sure seemed to be. But something happened. I guess I will never know what happened. I saw something today and it said “What’s done is done. What’s gone is gone. One of life’s lessons is always moving on. It’s OK to look back and think of fond memories but keep moving forward”. That is what I have to do to keep my sanity. I have to quit dwelling on him. I will continue to have fond memories of him but I can’t allow myself to think that he will ever love me again the way he once did. I gotta fix my makeup and hide my crazy. If it’s meant to be it will be.