Monday, July 29, 2013
Yesterday the Dancing Queen sent me an article and asked me to read it. She said she thought it might resonate with me and it did. The article was called “And then it was a time to let go”. It was a rather lengthy article but I made the time to read it. There was a part of the article where this lady was talking about regret about getting rid of an old sofa. She talked about how the sofa was her most prized possession. She told about all the memories that were made on that sofa, and I began to think about the memories that I had made on my own sofa which pretty much mirrored this ladies memories. The times we laid on that sofa, the sex we had on that sofa, the Christmas we spent on that sofa, the moonshine we drank on that sofa and to many more to name. She went on to say that the sofa was so old that sitting on it was an uncomfortable experience because the cushions were lumpy which made her angry because she didn’t have the money to buy a new sofa. This lady had a friend who was moving and offered her sofa to the lady. This lady accepted her friends sofa and took months of planning to get her old sofa out of her house because it was so big. She finally hired 2 strong men to do the job. It was too big to get through the door, so they threw the old sofa over the balcony and put the old sofa in the alley. The lady had anxiety all day about the sofa. She worried that she had made a mistake and wanted the old sofa back. She finally sat on the new sofa and all the things she had been clutching to fell to the floor. She said goodbye to the old sofa. The article said a lot more but the part about the sofa did resonate with me. I actually hate my sofa. I hated it when I was making the memories but with him the hate I had for my sofa disappeared when he was with me on the sofa. Just like the lady I can’t afford a new sofa. And if any of my friends offer me a new sofa I’m going to take it. I’m slowly letting go. I can’t get rid of my sofa so yesterday I took my favorite picture of me and him off of my refrigerator and put it in the closet. And then I cried. I also realized that I will have to make new memories, just like he is doing. I may never love anyone like I love him but if I don’t let go, I will never love again. I want to love again. I’m crying as I type this but I know I have to let go. Wish me luck and wish me courage! I’m going to need both.