Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Last night I got an email from a friend asking how I was feeling. He knew I haven’t been my happy self lately. It really surprised me that he had thought of me. He knew I had not been happy but I never told him what was wrong. Last night when he asked how I was doing, I told him I was really busy which was keeping my mind off of things. He then asked me what kind of things. I told him that the Holiday’s make me blue and that I couldn’t wait for them to be over with. I think for many people this is a time of year that they look forward to. He asked why they made me blue, so I told him that I feel like I’m under pressure to please so many people, plus I have no one to share them with. He reminded me that I have plenty of friends and family and that I didn’t have to please everyone. I told him that it’s really tough when you are expected to be at everyone’s house. More than making appearances here and there is the fact that I do not have a significant other to share the Holiday’s with. I miss waking up in someone’s arms. He said that he understood, and that I came across as such an independent woman that it never crossed his mind that I might want someone to share things with. I am independent but companionship is something that I can’t get by myself. Being independent has its strong points but it also can be very hard. I know some of you that are reading this will agree and understand what I am saying. For those of you who understand what I’m saying, I leave you with this. 40 days till December 26th. Hang in there!
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Queenie came home last night and announced that she just didn't think college is for her. I asked her what she planned to do and she said she was going to just work. Right now I just want to scream. She is 18 and thinks she knows everything. She said she just doesn't see where college could take her. I tried to reason with her and explain that she could possibly know after 1 semester. I suppose if she were failing the classes, I might understand her thinking. But she isn't failing. In fact she is making good grades. At first I told her to get out of the house effective immediately. Then I calmed down and tried to reason with her. I asked her to give it at least 1 year. I'm hoping that after 1 year she can see some sort of future other than the one she sees right now. It's hard letting go and letting kids make their own decisions. Queenie said she would give this some thought. I told her what ever she decides that I will love her, and she is welcome in my house anytime. I also told her that I would not enable her in making mistakes. If she decides not to enroll next semester then she will have to move out. It's killing me to know that she might make the wrong decision and by wrong, I mean not enrolling for next semester of college.