Tuesday, November 17, 2009

40 Days and 40 Nights

Last night I got an email from a friend asking how I was feeling. He knew I haven’t been my happy self lately. It really surprised me that he had thought of me. He knew I had not been happy but I never told him what was wrong. Last night when he asked how I was doing, I told him I was really busy which was keeping my mind off of things. He then asked me what kind of things. I told him that the Holiday’s make me blue and that I couldn’t wait for them to be over with. I think for many people this is a time of year that they look forward to. He asked why they made me blue, so I told him that I feel like I’m under pressure to please so many people, plus I have no one to share them with. He reminded me that I have plenty of friends and family and that I didn’t have to please everyone. I told him that it’s really tough when you are expected to be at everyone’s house. More than making appearances here and there is the fact that I do not have a significant other to share the Holiday’s with. I miss waking up in someone’s arms. He said that he understood, and that I came across as such an independent woman that it never crossed his mind that I might want someone to share things with. I am independent but companionship is something that I can’t get by myself. Being independent has its strong points but it also can be very hard. I know some of you that are reading this will agree and understand what I am saying. For those of you who understand what I’m saying, I leave you with this. 40 days till December 26th. Hang in there!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Queenie is at it Again

Queenie came home last night and announced that she just didn't think college is for her. I asked her what she planned to do and she said she was going to just work. Right now I just want to scream. She is 18 and thinks she knows everything. She said she just doesn't see where college could take her. I tried to reason with her and explain that she could possibly know after 1 semester. I suppose if she were failing the classes, I might understand her thinking. But she isn't failing. In fact she is making good grades. At first I told her to get out of the house effective immediately. Then I calmed down and tried to reason with her. I asked her to give it at least 1 year. I'm hoping that after 1 year she can see some sort of future other than the one she sees right now. It's hard letting go and letting kids make their own decisions. Queenie said she would give this some thought. I told her what ever she decides that I will love her, and she is welcome in my house anytime. I also told her that I would not enable her in making mistakes. If she decides not to enroll next semester then she will have to move out. It's killing me to know that she might make the wrong decision and by wrong, I mean not enrolling for next semester of college.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

She Asked If I Married My Best Friend

Last night Queenie caught me off guard. She asked me if I married my best friend when I married her father. I wasn't sure how to answer the question. I have been divorced for 7 years now and it was hard for me to remember back when I actually liked her father much less loved him. I thought about it for a bit and told her NO - I didn't marry my best friend, I married my only friend. When I married her father I was looking for something that I was missing in my own life. God has since blessed me with many friends. If I ever marry again, I am sure that I will marry my best friend. That may be why I have been single for 7 years.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

So You Think You Can Dance!

About 20 years ago my sister Norma Jean persuaded me to take a Wilton Cake Decorating class with her. She was and still is the type that would prefer to make a birthday cake as apposed to buying one from the sacred beloved bakery. It’s no secret how much I love cake, but I hate to bake. I am certain God created the bakery just for my benefit. I took the 8 wk class with her thinking if I actually knew what I was doing that I would like it better. WRONG! My cakes were the ugliest, worst tasting creations ever eaten. Anyone out there thinking of becoming a food network star, don’t worry about me. I’m one less competition for you. It took everything I had to finish that class but I did it. Every week I walked in and started watching the clock, counting the minutes till I was free of the cake Hell. Take note: This is probably the only post that you will ever hear me associate cake and Hell in the same sentence. You are probably wondering what cake decorating has to do with dance, aren’t you? Well, here it is.

My dear friend Melody teaches a Hip Hop class. She has been after me for years to take her class but I always found other things more important to do, after all I can dance or thought I could. I usually listen to 95.1 when I’m listening to the radio but when I’m in the car with Queenie as a compromise we listen to 104.3 which plays more of the top 40 as apposed to the rock that 95.1 plays. While listening to 104.3 one day I heard the song “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) by BeyoncĂ©”. I loved the song! Queenie said the video was even better so I looked it up on YouTube and she was right. The video was great. It had me jumping around and in an all around peppy mood. I asked Melody if she would teach me this dance and she said if I would take her class she would teach me a few of the moves, so I signed up for the 6 week long Hip Hop class on Monday nights. I was so excited till my first class last night. I got there, walked in and everyone was wearing really super cool dance leotards and some even had those special dance shoes. I thought I looked pretty special too, after all I was wearing my Kid Rock special addition cover of the Rolling Stones T-shirt and my sky blue silky shorts. I didn’t let those girls intimidate me with their dance outfits. I was there to dance, not model. Melody came in and called roll and as I suspected most of the girls there had taken dance for several years and just wanted to get back into it or they were currently taking other dance classes. I think there was only 3 of us that had no professional dance experience. We started with the warm up and I felt pretty good. I could touch my toes and most of the other stuff too. I was doing OK with the warm up and stretching then it came time to get down to it. I can dance or thought I could till last night. When it comes to dancing in a choreographed routine, I just plain SUCK! There is a big joke between me and Melody regarding something called a Jazz Square. We once took a Jazzercise class together and every time it came to that damn Jazz Square I managed to get my feet tangled up and fall. I have no coordination. Last night it was the Jazz Square/Cake decorating class relived. The whole time I was fighting back tears and the urge to run away from that place. I kept repeating to myself “I will not quit”, “I will not quit”, “I will not quit” and I’m not. I will learn this Hip Hop thing if I have to repeat the class! I’m also going to find a video camera and film Melody so I can practice at home, after all I do love to dance!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Strange Combinations

Is it just here in Alabama or does the other States offer these seemingly strange combinations? Here you can tan, rent a video and buy fishing tackle all in the same building. You can go get your Birth control pill and register to vote at the same time. I see this sort of thinking as smart thinking.

Many moons ago before I wanted to have children I used the Birth control pill to prevent pregnancy. I was very poor so I went to planned parenthood to get my pills. They based the price on your income or lack of in my case. After I had been married a couple of years we decided to go off the pill and have a baby. I can’t believe how naive I was then. We waited 3 months to let the pill get out of my system before actually letting the gates open. At the time I was the Clinique counter manager at a department store in the mall. My two closest friends worked with me. Melody worked as counter manager for LancĂ´me and Teresa worked for Estee Lauder. The three of us were a team. We proclaimed ourselves as the most beautiful women. Every day we came to work we tried a new lipstick, looked in the mirror, blew ourselves a kiss and said “You are the most beautiful woman” (I still do that). Teresa was a few years older, already had children and much wiser. She was the one who told me to wear a bra with more support because one day the twins would not salute the sun but hang in despair. I really wish I had listened to her. I posed as Melody’s stand in Mother. She needed someone to write “L E T T E R S” for her. That’s how I wrote, I said every word as I wrote it down and didn’t finish the word in my mouth till it was on paper. It drove her crazy. I also liked to take the phone book away from her if she didn’t find the number quick enough. The day I did that was the day we became fast friends. I also pointed out that if her battery in her calculator/check book register ever died she wouldn’t know her balance in her check book. And sure enough about 1 week or so later it happened, the battery died in her checkbook register calculator and she had no idea what her balance was. I called the bank and took care of things. I also instructed her to take her car to K-Mart for a new battery instead of taking it the Chevron gas station. If I could do this well managing Melody then surely I could be a mother. Several months after I quit taking the pill I came to work feeling the best I had ever felt except that my boobie’s hurt. Teresa was certain that I was pregnant and insisted that I go and have a test done. I was certain I was not pregnant because we only had unprotected sex 1 time. So, off we went during our lunch hour to Planned Parenthood to have a test. I checked in and while we were waiting for me to be called back, Melody and Teresa found that they could register to vote at Planned Parenthood. Who would have guessed???. The nurse took me back to the room and asked all the pertinent questions. I told her that my boobies hurt so bad that surely my period was going to be horrible. A few minutes later the nurse came back and said to me “you are not going to have a horrible period”. I asked her how she knew that and she said because I was going to have a baby. I stood there not understanding what she had said. Then it hit me and when it did, it hit me hard. It scared me so that I screamed. I screamed loudly. Melody and Teresa came running from the waiting room to find me. They thought something was wrong with me as did all the nurses because they came running too. Apparently most of the screams that they heard were not joyous screams. I was happy and scared. I was shaking so badly that I could not write out the check to pay for the test. Teresa had to write the check for me. That was another day in my life that I will never forget and feel so blessed to have shared it with Melody and Teresa. That was about 19 years ago. I hadn’t thought about that day in a while. Melody reminded me of it the other day so decided to write about it before dementia or Alzheimer’s set in. This was the day that I found out I was pregnant with Queenie and Melody and Teresa registered to vote! What a day!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Pathetic or Desperate?

Today I was giving a good friend some advice and defining the difference in desperate and pathetic. There is a fine line. Can you tell the difference?

Today a co-worker had some errands to do but was really busy at work. I was going out during lunch and I volunteered to take her husbands watches and get batteries put in them. She said to take them to Alexander’s jewelry or Donnie’s Diamond gallery. I had never been to Donnie’s before so decided to take them there. While they were working on the watches I decided to peruse the Sapphire selection. Cake Lady just loves Sapphires. I have always thought if I were to ever marry again that I didn’t want a traditional wedding band. I envisioned a wedding band similar to anniversary band, with Sapphires surrounded by diamonds. I was not looking for a wedding band and I spotted the ring of my dreams. It is exactly what I had envisioned. Problem is I’m not getting married. I explained this to the salesman and he insisted that if I bought the ring in advance that it would be good luck and I would surely find a husband soon. What a salesman!!! I told him that would not work because marriage is not in my future or at least the near future. I told him that I didn’t want to wear anything on my left hand that looked like a wedding band unless I was actually married. He tried a few other angles but I finally told him I was just not going to buy something unless I would be wearing it.

When I brought the watches in I had my keys in my hand and laid them on the glass counter along with the watches. He put the watches in a baggy and handed me my keys. I thanked him and left. I got in the car and tried to put the keys in the ignition and I couldn’t get them to work. I looked to make sure I had the correct key and it appeared that I did, so I tried again. Still it wouldn’t work. I raised the keys and looked at them and realized these are not my keys. Inside joke but this is the second time in 2 weeks that I have ended up with a wrong set of keys. I took them back in and the salesman laughed and pulled my keys out of his pocket. I am not entirely certain that he didn’t do this on purpose. Possibly he was not going to let me leave until I bought that ring. Cake Lady's definition of pathetic: Buying a ring that looks like a wedding band that I won’t wear because I’m not married. Oh and no chance I will get that ring, even if I rationalized wearing it. It cost $2200.00