Friday, June 13, 2008

Panty Advice!

Good Morning Boys and Girls! Good Ole Cake Lady wants to share her new found knowledge concerning spare panties. Always keep a pair of panties in the back of your panty drawer because you never know when you are going to wake up and every pair of panties that you own are in your dryer that no longer works. Not too long ago over the course of about a year, I lost a lot of weight. Since I couldn’t afford to reward myself with a trip to some exotic island I decided to do the next best thing. I threw away every pair of white granny panty that I had and replaced them with the pretty colored panties from Victoria’s Secret. I vowed never to wear a pair of white panties again. So if you ever see me in a white skirt or white pants and it looks like a rainbow on my tail, it probably is and I know it’s there. When switching to the VS panties, I also decided that if any of them begin to fade in color, that they must be replaced. I decided that I need 12 pair of panties, an even dozen seemed plenty to me. Yesterday I put on my last pair of clean panties and put all the rest of them in the wash. Before I went to bed, I put them in the dryer and turned it on. This morning I get up, go to the dryer for the clean panties and guess what? All of my clothes are still wet. I’m thinking maybe I got distracted and forgot to turn the dryer on. I push the button to start the dryer and nothing happens. I check to make sure the door is shut and it is. Next I check the breaker box and all switches are where they are supposed to be and I even flip them for good measure. Still nothing happens. Now I have 2 problems. No, make that 3 problems. I have no dry panties to wear to work. I am going out of town and I have no dry panties to take with me and my dryer is broken. I have to call work and tell them I will be late because I have to dry my panties. That got a good laugh. In case you don’t know, it takes about 10 – 15 minutes to dry pretty colored cotton panties with the blow dryer. I had to get the rest of the clothes dry because I am leaving to go out of town right after work and was afraid the clothes would sour if I left them in the dryer over the weekend. So, I take the rest of the clothes (minus 3 pair of wet panties) to my friend’s house and put them in her dryer. She has no idea I was even there. She was still asleep. I wish I could see the look on her face when she opens her dryer and finds someone else’s clothes in there. I took 3 pair of panties and I laid them on top of my suitcase in the trunk of the car so that they can dry. Isn’t that how everyone dries their panties? Anyway, a dozen is not enough. Go for the bakers dozen and keep #13 hidden in the back of the drawer in case your dryer stops working when you need it most.

Monday, June 02, 2008

How Many Days Left Till School Starts Again?

Picture this. Before I went to bed last night I remind #1 son that he is not allowed to have any company in the house while I am at work tomorrow. I ask him to repeat what I said and he does. Seems pretty clear to me that #1 son understands my instructions. Any of you folks out there that have children know that God blesses you with a 7th sense, you know that nagging feeling that someone is up to no good. That 7th sense kicked in today when I had not received the normal 230 – 271 calls that I get when he is at home by himself. I decided to go home for lunch and see what was going on. I arrived about 1:15 and saw several bikes parked at the back of my driveway (none belonging to #1 son). I walked to the back of the house hoping to find the owners of the bikes in my backyard but no luck. As soon as I stepped in the door, I hear what sounds like a heard of horses trying to get back with the rest of the pack. One unknown voice shouts “GI Joe – your mother is here”. I hear more tripping and loud whispers then out pops #1 son from his bedroom and he is trying to shut his bedroom door but can’t. He is biting his nails and his eyes are wide as saucers. He try’s to be upbeat and says in the most cheerful voice “Hey Mom, what are you doing home? I thought you got off work at 5?. I remind him that I had reminded him last night that he was not to have anyone in the house while I was gone. He is lucky that I can control my anger because his response nearly had me to throttle him. He says “Oh I forgot” to which I called Bullshit, you just got caught. I tell the boys to leave and they promptly do while never taking their eyes off of me. I know they thought I was going to start beating some ass right there on the spot. I ask #1 son what all the commotion was in his room and he tells me that when I came home he just remembered that he was not supposed to have anyone over so he was trying to get them out the window before I got to his room. Did he really think he would get away with this? Is it a boy thing to just dig a hole deeper an deeper??? Oh and if him lying and then trying to cover it up was not enough, he calls me when I get back to work and asks if he can spend the night with someone to which I reply “NO” and he has the nerve to ask why!! I told him he could not spend the night with anyone because he lied and then tried to cover up his lie, he started to argue and I just hung up. What a fun summer this is going to be! HOW MANY DAYS TILL SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN?????