Thursday, February 21, 2008

Brave or Weak?

Last week on Valentine’s day I took myself to dinner as I do so many times. I have become accustomed to dining alone. I go to the places that I can eat at the bar, that way I blend in with the rest of the people and don’t feel like I have a big neon sign on my head that say’s “She is alone”. On this particular occasion I ran into a friend who I had not seen in a while. She invited me to have dinner with her and her husband and I did. It wasn’t long before I noticed tension between the two of them. This tension surprised me because they have not been married that long. When he excused himself to go to the Men’s room, she confided in me something that really threw me for a loop. She said to me “I am such a horrible person”. I asked her why she thought she was a horrible person and she told me that she had married this man because she needed security for her children. I told her that I thought she was brave and meant it. When I told her this, I wasn’t just saying it to make her feel better. I really did see her as brave and I saw myself as weak. I have been divorced for almost 6 years and always seem to be attracted to the men who are what I consider safe. You know the one’s that live so far away that you can’t commit, or the one’s that you know from the beginning that are fun but don’t want a family. Those types seemed like the ideal boyfriends. I thought I could have a boyfriend every other week but I didn’t count on them not wanting ME every other week. I think I have turned down as many dates as I have gone on, just because I knew from the beginning that they were looking for a long term relationship.

I am not writing this because I plan to change anything. If anything, maybe I have decided that I am not weak, I am brave to protect my children and myself.

What is your idea of bravery?

6 comments:

trick said...

I have nothing on this subject except week is really spelled weak....

and no you are not!!!

Cake Lady said...

I kept looking at this post and thinking something doesn't look right but couldn't figure it out. I corrected it. Thanks for catching that.

Sugardaddy said...

Bravery is taking that step into the unknown and leaving a secure - even disfunctional - relationship. It is a giant leap that quite a few of us have considered but have never had the guts to do.
It takes a pretty strong person to go it alone with a couple of kids. Hell going it alone without them is kinda scary too.

Slick said...

I guess it's all on what the individual wants.

What one considers brave, the other might consider foolish.

Either way, I always say do what's best for you.

teahouse said...

Bravery can be admitting your weaknesses, and/or admitting that you made a mistake and regret it...

And I love dining alone! Even though I'm getting married soon, I still often sneak out and go to sushi bars by myself. It's a wonderful thing to do for yourself!

sue said...

Brave is trusting your gut no matter how scary it might be. I like what everyone else said, too... what a wise bunch of readers you have!