Thursday, January 31, 2008

Buckle Up!

I never write much about work and I suppose it's because I like what I do and it would be boring for most folks and after 5pm, I leave it at the office. There have been some changes around the office that I just don't think I will ever get used to, so I feel compelled to tell someone about it. Back in November our office moved to a new location. Our new location is centrally located and it is decor looks like a picture out of Southern Living magazine. I have to hand it to my boss; his thinking is that we spend so much time at the office that we should be comfortable. He even went so far as to put in the top of the line toilets. This brings me to my point. I have never sat on a toilet and looked for the seat belts before but I'm looking for some on these. These toilets have the most powerful flush. Here comes the TMI. I have never thought about this before but I suppose we all use the toilet in the same manner. Sit, do your business, wipe, stand and zip then flush. That is exactly how I used to do it. The first time I flushed the toilet, it sounded like a damn jet engine was taking off. It scared me so bad that I jumped back and hit my head against the bathroom door. After I composed myself, I did a second flush to make sure there was nothing wrong with our new potty. It did the same thing. I jumped again but this time was sort of expecting it so I didn't fall into the wall trying to get away from what surely was going to explode. I never did get used to all this noise so I decided to try something new. Now when I use the potty I sit, do my business, wipe but do not get up before I flush. I sit when I flush, and I have to say it is quite an experience. It's almost like a bidet except with air and not water. It's been almost 2 months now and I have still not gotten used to air blowing up my lower orifices. I must admit though, it is a bit refreshing sometimes. There is just nothing like cold gail force winds blowing up your ass.

7 comments:

BO Snagley said...

Interesting sort of a blow and go. or rather go and blow

Sugardaddy said...

Way too many inappropriate things running through my mind to trust to my fingers at this point in time.
Could be worse though, it could have been one of the first generation low flows where you had to flush 3 times just when you peed. Don't get me started on how many times it took after a good bar-b-que dinner.
OK I can't pass it up.
Wouldn't you like warm air (breath) blowing there? (I am a slime ball).

Chuck said...

Glad you've been enjoying your daily blow jobs! Those toilets sound pretty good. Think how helpful they'll be after a night of too much Mexican?! :)

Kelwhy said...

ick - all i can imagine is all the "other" stuff splashing up from inside the toilet ON TO YOU!

i can't think about it...

Cake Lady said...

No No No - All the bad stuff goes down the hole where it's supposed to go. The flush is so strong that lot's of air rushes up. Only air get's on me.

sue said...

HA!!!!

Jay said...

You are too much. :)