Saturday, December 29, 2007

Dreams or Real Life?

I am having those dreams again. The kinds of dreams that can’t be distinguished between real life and sleep dreams. When I awoke this morning my chest was pounding, my heart was racing and I couldn’t catch my breath. I laid in bed for a long time trying to rationalize what was happening to me. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. I laid in bed for 2 hours reliving and thinking about my thoughts or dreams or was it real? It took me about 2 hours to finally realize that it was just a dream. I think to most people what I had dreamed would not be a big deal because what was causing me such stress is heard all the time. I dreamed I took the Lords name in vain. I have only done this a few times and when I say a few times I can count them on 1 hand. Last night I went to sleep angry with one of my sisters. I awoke reliving a dream. The shame that I felt was unbearable and I truly believe that it is why I was having all the physical reactions. I don’t claim to be a Christian 100 percent of the time but believe it or not, I do try. I know God forgives but I can’t seem to forgive myself, not even for a dream. In my dream I was very angry with one of my sisters and not only did I take the Lords name in vain but I wrestled her to the ground and was trying to physically hurt her. Most of the day my body felt strange and emotionally drained from this dream. I have always heard that when you dream you are falling that you will wake up before you hit the ground or you will die. Does that apply to morals in a dream too?

9 comments:

Sugardaddy said...

Tis better to dream the foul deed rather than actually do it. The dream could very well have been caused by a need to relieve stress. The forms of release (swearing and physical violence)are not really relevant to the stress relief process. My advice is to take a deep breath, stop beating yourself up for a subconcious incident over which you had no control, and put this past you. I would also advise that you not eat pepperoni pizza and nyquil before going to bed again.

sue said...

I'm not sure about your question, but I do know the feeling those dreams can have. Some dreams are so real and even if I don't remember the actual dream (which I usually do), I remember the feeling the dream gives me... it can stay with me for days!

Hope you had a good New Years... here's to a happy 2008, Lady!

SoCal Sal said...

I hope not or I am going straight to hell!

T.J. said...

As someone who has awoken just as I would have hit many times, I cannot say, as I've never 'landed.'

Oh, and in re: your post at Sue's;

I voted Perot too.....

T.

egan said...

Yikes, I'd be in a world of hurt when it comes to the Lord's name in vain.

They do say something about never going to bed angry. That's why I never go to bed before 1:00am. I have no answer to your question.

Junebugg said...

I almost never remember my dreams. I've woke up feeling just like you described, heart pounding, but can't remember what it was that happened in dreamland

teahouse said...

Yeah, I've been having some really weird and vivid dreams lately as well. Maybe it's indigestion from all of that heavy eating over the holidays...

LeAnn said...

It sounds like you were having a panic attack.

Jay said...

My dreams are always too bizarre to be mistaken for real life.