Thursday, November 01, 2007

Birthing Babies Cake Lady Style

I was visiting that Slick Sumbitch today and he caused me to remember the time that I gave birth to a Kidney stone and a baby boy all at the same time.

Some ladies can claim to giving birth to more than one baby at a time but just how many can tell about giving birth to a Kidney stone and a baby at the same time. I'm guessing I might just be the only one.

When I went into labor with G.I. Joe my back was hurting really bad. It felt like someone stuck a knife in my back. I kept telling the nurses and the doctors that something more serious was happening to me than just labor pains. They all said it was just back labor and when I received my epidural that it would be better. I argued that I had a baby before and this was not back labor but they wouldn't hear of it. I finally did receive my epidural and the pain did stop. Not long after that I started pushing and out came G.I. Joe (complete with survival gear and black hair and side burns that looked like they belonged to Elvis).

They cleaned us both up, put a diaper on G.I. Joe and a Maxi Pad on me and sent me to my room. A few hours later the nurse came in my room and reminded me to get up and move around so I went to the bathroom. I pulled down the Maxi Pad and set down on the toilet and noticed there was a dry roasted peanut just laying there in my Maxi Pad. I thought it was the strangest thing to find in my Maxi Pad and took it and laid it on the sink beside me and was going to ask the nurse about this strange finding when she came in again. Well, I was on some really good pain killers and then all my family and friends started to arrive. The pain wasn't there anymore and I just forgot about the dry roasted peanut that I found. Two days later I was discharged and all was right in the world (except for the postpartum depression thingy)

Six weeks went by and it was time for me to return to work. I had been at work for about 2 hours and my back started hurting again. I remembered this pain was exactly like that back labor that I experienced when I gave birth 6 weeks earlier. This time it was worse, I called my family Doctor and he said to come on in. It didn't take him long to determine that I was passing a Kidney Stone. He sent me to have some sort of dye injected into me and have X-rays while the dye was in there. They saw it and said I would probably be able to pass it on my own. They gave me a strainer thing that I had to pee in that would catch the kidney stone. Why this was important I don't know because they didn't want it back. But I did as I was told and the next day when I looked in the strainer there was something there that looked like a large piece of sand, or a tiny dry roasted peanut. Then it hit me and I remembered the thing that I found in my Maxi Pad when I gave birth. Then I realized that it wasn't a dry roasted peanut but a Kidney Stone. I had given birth to a Kidney Stone and a baby boy.

10 comments:

Trick said...

TMI, TMI!!!

Sugardaddy said...

Are you sure you took the right thing home from the hospital?

Junebugg said...

You don't do anything the easy way, do ya?

Slick said...

Geeezus!

I won't be able to brag about passing mine (when I do) to you will I?

Hell, you'll even make fun of me!

sue said...

Holy cow! I had a kidney infection when I gave birth to my first and thought I was gonna kill someone the week before due to the pain... if anyone even touched the bed, let alone tried to sit on it or lay beside me...well, let's just say the husband almost lost vital body parts that week. :)

You really did do things the hard way, didn't you? Yikes.

Slick said...

Where iz u?

Southern Sweetheart said...

That's some story lady! Yikes! I hope I never have a kidney stone! OUCH!

Sugardaddy said...

Hello
Is the Cake Lady out there somewhere?

Jay said...

What an inspiring story :)

teahouse said...

Egads!! I'll never be able to open a jar of Planter's Dry Roasted Peanuts again...