Friday, September 28, 2007

Condom News!

While visiting my favorite watering hole the other day, a friend of mine was telling the story about how his father made him and his brother learn to put on a condom in the dark. His father gave them each a hammer and told them to put the metal part of the hammer between their legs and to put the condom on the handle part of the hammer while the lights were out. I thought this to be hysterically funny and never considered what a task it must be for a man. That's when I had the epiphany. Why don't the condom people make condom wrappers that glow in the dark? It should be industry standard. Now, don't go getting any idea's about contacting the condom makers because yours truly has already made contact. I had a couple of other ideas for them too. I will keep you posted about what they say.

In other condom news...The German engineers that brought us the BMW, the Audi and the Porsche will also bring us the first spray on condom. Yes, you heard me correctly. Spray on condoms. The spray on condom should be available in 2008. The way it works is that the man is to stick his penis into this canister and then it's sprayed all over with latex (much like a car wash), no more one size fits all. This will insure a snug fit with more sensitivity...or so they say. The cost will be about $27.00 and can be used about 20 times. I personally can't wait to see this in action. What a grand idea!!! The only problem that I foresee is how will it fit into their pockets or wallets? I hope those folks that designed the BMW, Audi and Porsche are redesigning these cars with some handy little compartment for the Spray On Condom canister.



7 comments:

HEWY said...

As a young boy, I sprayed cologne on "mr. thumper" and I will never spray anything on it again.

Chuck said...

Now that is quite interesting. You can bet I'll be one of them trying it out.

sue said...

Would you believe in the season premiere of CSI:NY they HAD some spray-on condom? Maybe it wasn't real, but they talked like it was...

Sugardaddy said...

Hope the can is about the size of the Bianca breath spray.
And oh by the way, condoms do come in sizes. They are Large, Medium, and Caucasian.

Jay said...

Ohh, I just love those canisters! But - should you match it to your purse, or to your shoes? Or perhaps to your bedding if you leave it on the nightstand? Oh gosh!


p.s. There are in fact glow in the dark condoms, but they're a little weird. Just this disembodied penis floating around in the room - kind of like a light saber or something.

Cake Lady said...

Hewy - why in the world did you spray cologne on your thumper?

Chuck - I'm surprised they haven't contacted you to be a tester of this new product.

Sue - I saw that episode too and that is what prompted me to research this subject. They used it like a can of hairspray and the real stuff is well...like a car wash.

Sugardaddy - I hope never to see a penis that will fit in the size of a bianca breath spray can - Scary!

Jay - I have seen those floating light sabers and they do make me want to do battle with them. It's the wrapper that I am trying to get changed to glow in the dark though. You are totally on cue about accessorising, and the possibilities just never end. Just imagine, Halloween, Christmas, 4th of July, St. Patricks Day. Just more reason to celebrate!

Slick said...

OOoo, a spray on condom? I'd be too afraid to try it!