Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The 18 Hour Bra

The 18 Hour Bra - The idea of wearing a bra for 18 hours just scares the hell out of me. There are 24 hours in a day and when you take away 18 of those hours it leaves only 6 hours, or in another perspective, it means that a woman would have to wear a bra all the time except to sleep. All you women out there know just how ridiculous that is. The 1st thing we do when we get home is take that thing off and toss it somewhere. Seriously, what happens after 18 hours? Does all the support just go away like Cinderella's coach turns back into a pumpkin? And while I'm on my soap box, I am not going to be buying anymore bra's from Vickie's Secret Closet. The quality of these bra's has just totally gone down hill. Why pay $50.00 for something I don't even want to wear? I have been doing some bra shopping lately (can you tell?). I saw Jennifer Love Hewitt sporting a Hanes Bra on a commercial the other day, so I bought one and It is great for the 8 hours that it is needed. I paid less than $10.00 for this bra and it's pretty too. I also have found the vassarette bra to fit my needs as well. The one thing that I will continue to buy from Vickie's Secret Closet is her panties. I love them. And now that I have lost some weight and am most definitely going through a mid life crises. I have made the decision to never ever wear white or beige panties again. When I put on my white shorts, skirt or pants and Queenie says "Mom, I can see your pantie's" I just say "Thanks Baby". She is mortified but hey it's my mid life crises, not hers.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Meltdown, Guilt, Awakenings & Unconditional Love

The Meltdown - This morning I had a complete meltdown with GI Joe. He had been sick last week and went to the Doctor. The Doctor gave him some medicine and an excuse for school. This morning I wake GI Joe up, tell him to get a shower, take his medicine and make sure he has his excuse for school. He gets his shower, takes his medicine and some how loses his school excuse while walking from his bedroom to the family room. 7:40am, I am trying to remain calm about this and I am failing miserably. One of my biggest pet peeves is losing things. I ask him if he actually had the excuse in his hands this morning and he said yes. I can not believe this. How can it happen. 7:45am I tell him to get me a piece of paper that I will write a note. He goes to the kitchen drawer and pulls out a sticky note that is about 3"x3". That is when I really lost it. I start screaming at him at the top of my lungs to get me a piece of paper. I may have even said get me a Damn piece of paper, to which he replied "You can get it, it's closer to you". Now I am totally unglued. I scream back at him that it is his responsibility to get the excuse to school and not mine. GI Joe starts tearing up. He didn't cry but I could tell that I had really got to him.

The Guilt - Now I have upset GI Joe and he has a science test today. I should not have gotten so out of control over an excuse for school. Now I am filled with guilt about screaming at my child. He definitely deserved something but I doubt the amount of screaming that I did helped anything. Hopefully he will be able to forget about everything that happened this morning and concentrate on his test. If he fails this test regardless of the reason, I will undoubtedly feel guilty.

The Awakening - Mr. Italy has called me twice since I was last with him and I didn't want to see him. It seems that I have realized a warm body does not replace a warm body that truly cares about me.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

I Am Thankful For...

It's been a beautiful day today. GI Joe asked to spend the night with me Saturday night. I know it sounds strange for my son to ask to spend the night with his mother but when there is divorce involved, that's just the way it is. He came over Saturday night and invited his friend over to spend the night with him. They played games on the play station till I made them go to bed at 11:30. As they played I listened to them laugh and try to talk big and bad and it gave me such pleasure. I am thankful that GI Joe has friends to play with. Today I cooked breakfast for them. As I cooked I heard them talking about how good the bacon smelled and I was thankful that I had food to feed them. Later today we went to pick up GI Joe's football uniform. We had to pick it up from his coaches house. GI Joe made the comment about how nice the houses were in his coaches neighborhood and I was thankful that he recognized the beauty in the homes. Our home is nice but I wouldn't qualify it as beautiful. His coach lives close to Huntsville's oldest cemetery. GI Joe suggested that we go visit some graves. Again this might sound weird to some folks but for me it is one of the most peaceful things to do. We walk around and admire the beautiful headstones, talk about the names and just walk in piece and for this I am thankful. We were able to find the grave of a friend who passed away late last year. I was in NYC and wasn't able to attend the funeral. I knew about where it was so we looked and found it. As I remember about how tragically she died, I am thankful that I am alive and walking with my son. I am reminded of just how short life can be, so I will continue to live it to the fullest and be thankful I am alive.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Deep Feeling's From The Cake Lady

My feelings today run the gamut. Actually it has been this whole last week or maybe two weeks.

I know that a lot of it has to do with Mr. Mustang. I met him for drinks last week and I had a good time. Then the next day he said something that almost seemed like he regretted calling me. This confused me. Then last night he called me again and we went to dinner together. He then admitted that he is very much in turmoil over his latest relationship. I listened to him and reminded him that he didn't have to make any decisions right now. He is as bad as me about beating himself up. Mr. Mustang is only my friend now. I want much more than his friendship, I want things to go back to the way they were. I'm not holding my breath waiting on it to happen but I can't help but remember just how comfortable I was when we were seeing each other and I find myself comparing everyone to him.

I had lunch with the Test Pilot yesterday and I did enjoy his company. I am pretty sure he will call me again and that scares me. I like him, I'm attracted to him but since my divorce 5 years ago I have made a new and different life for myself. It works for me and I am afraid to change it.

I met someone the other night. I will call him Mr. Drama Battalion. This one bothers me the most because I had a few drinks and I told him about this blog and guess what? He took the time to read it and I assume he will read this as well. You are attractive, intelligent and considerate. I couldn't figure out if you wanted to "date me" or just "date me for a night". Either way it scared me. As you can see, I have a lot of stuff running through my head. It mostly has to do with being in control. I promised myself that I would write honestly on here so I must continue to do so even though you are possibly reading this.

I have been seeing Mr. Florida on and off for 4 years. He treats me like a queen. We couldn't be any more different. I have no commitment to him but for some reason I feel guilty when I see other men. I tell him all the time that the reason it works for us is that we are on a perpetual honeymoon. I only see him about once a month so we don't know what it's like to deal with the day to day things that most people face.

It is very easy with Mr. Italy because I know he wants nothing more than sex with me. He doesn't want to have a relationship with me and I don't want one with him.

Then there is Asshole. After 5 years he is still trying to control me. He sent me an e-mail yesterday "instructing me to do something" I did very well though. After shaking violently because it made me so mad, I did nothing. I didn't respond to the e-mail and I sure as hell didn't do as he instructed me to do. I am making progress in this department.

In a nutshell this is what it boils down to. I want what I can't have and if they want me then that makes them in control and I just can't deal with that.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

If Chuck and Bo are Doing it then I am too!


First thing I need to say is Happy Half Neked Thursday (HNT). Thanks to Sugar Daddy I now know all about it (figuratively speaking). Stay tuned for a HNT picture later today. Oh and I do no how to spell naked, I just like to call it Neked :-)


Happy HNT! I see you!



This survey pretty much nails me.

*** THE EVERYTHING TEST ***
There are many different types of tests on the Internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy.

PERSONALITY
You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are
Outgoing (100%),
Religious (93%),
Adventurous (75%),
Innovative (71%).

STEREOTYPES
Old Geezer (83%)
Prep (77%)
Punk Rock (67%)

LIFE EXPERIENCE
Sex (44%)
Substances (46%)
Travel (29%)

POLITICS
Your political views would best be described as Libertarian, whom you agree with around 68% of the time.

SOCIOECONOMIC
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class.You make more than 85% of those who have taken this test,and 4% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.

By the way, your hotness rank is 62%, hotter than 55% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TESThttp://www.thatsurveysite.net/take.php?id=eay
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Monday, August 20, 2007

What Has Been Going On?

I just realized that I have been blogging for a year now. I have so much going on in my life these days and yet so little at the same time. I think I will just reflect on the happenings of the last year.

  • GI Joe is now 12 years old and he still likes the colored shirts and he is also into the plaid shorts.

  • Queenie is now 16 and is driving, this has been a big help having another toy box on wheels to transport GI Joe and his entourage.

  • I am sleeping much better, no more flying in the air. It helps to listen to the doctor and do what he says to do and not try to fix things yourself. I do still have strange dreams. Saturday night I had been out celebrating my Sisters birthday and I had brought my camera with me. When I went to bed that night I dreamed that my sisters had taken my clothes off and taken pictures of me in my bra and panties. This dream was so vivid that when I awoke the next morning I ran to my purse to take out the camera to make sure this really didn’t happen. If I were thinking properly I would have remembered that the pictures that I saw of me in bra and panties were RED and I was wearing black that night.

  • The Love palace is getting a little easier to access. When I started blogging last year only 2 men had visited the Love Palace, today that number is 5.
    - The White Russian is a regular visitor who I just can’t kick out.
    - Mr. Michigan is in Michigan and remains a close friend
    - Mr. Shark was just a mistake and sometimes mistakes happen
    - Mr. Mustang – what can I say. I love him and would welcome that relationship back at any time and there are signs that it might be headed in that direction (more on that in another blog)
    - And the newest contestant would be Mr. Italy, what can I say about him? Ummm…Boy Toy!

  • Ex-husband is still an Asshole and growing bigger every day.

  • I took Queenie to NYC for here 16th birthday and brought home a Turtle. I didn’t realize it at the time but it seems that I smuggled the turtle back. I didn’t know you were not allowed to bring animals on the plane. I didn’t hide it, they just didn’t notice it.
  • GI Joe passed 6th grade and so far this year he is putting forth an effort that I have never seen in him before to keep up with his homework and make good grades.

  • To my knowledge no one has yet to invent a device to check for Strep Throat without sticking a stick down your throat.

  • The Trickster has settled down and the Cake Lady is taking her place.

  • I still get lost every where that I go. Someone please take up a collection and buy me a GPS. I met Mr. Mustang the other day out in Madison and got lost. As soon as his phone rang he said “where are you”. Sad, very sad that I could get lost going from Huntsville to Madison.

  • Norma Jean finally came to her senses and quit seeing her scum of an ex-husband. I believe he is officially out of the picture. However, she is still not in her right mind. Another subject to blog about at a later date.
  • I am still an avid blood donor and encourage all of you to give blood.

  • I have learned how to link pages to names, add pictures to my blog and can even cook a little now.
  • I still get the occasional “What If” attack but they are fewer and farther between the last ones. I am completely off of effexor. It was hard to do and it scared the hell out of me but I did it. I still have panic attacks from time to time but now I will do as the Doctor says and take some of my clonazepam as needed.

  • Two friends left this world in the past year.

  • I have met many more friends through myspace. I have met some really great people on there. Mr. Mustang is still my favorite. And I have met some really strange ones too. The strangest one would be the man who wants to pleasure my feet with his tongue. I am meeting a new friend tomorrow, I have a lunch date with him. He is a test pilot.

  • I had my other hip replaced in December and so far it is working like a charm. I am even able to power walk again. I am slowly getting back into the walking. As a matter of fact I will be doing some power walking tonight.

  • I had 3 things that I was going to try to accomplish over this year.
    1. Paint the living room, bedroom and Hall – none has been accomplished but I am working on painting the ceiling.
    2. Lose 20 lbs. I’ve lost 15 since January.
    3. Return to my power walking. I am getting there.

  • Mr. Mustang gave me the best birthday present a girl could ask for and he cooked for me too! No wonder I fell in love with this man.

  • I wonder is Anonymous is still reading my blogs?

  • My 3 favorite post's in the last year have been Proclivities, Memories and The Necklace.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Urban Word Definition of Home Run

1. Home Run

To accelerate through first base (french kissing), onto second base ("heavy petting") to third base (oral sex) and finally coming around to home plate (sexual intercourse).
Wow, hit a home run with the White Russian tonight, gimme a high five!

Yes Anonymous Comment (Trickster), the rumors are true. The White Russian has been in town and I have been scoring some Grand Slams. Barry Bond's doesn't have anything on me and the White Russian!



In other news:

This weekend I will be going solo to the company outing. Oh and just to confuse everyone. I can't take the White Russian also known as Mr. Florida because his company and our company are direct competitors and someone would lose their job.


I have decided to go with an electric weed whacker.

My mood is still a little down but it's getting better. I think when this weekend is over I will be back to my normal self.