Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Just The Facts!

  • I have been more than a little down lately.
  • I took the Lords name in vain today. I can count on 2 hands how many times I have done that. The last time was some time in my early twenties. I am 47 now. I was trying to make airline reservations. Pathetic!
  • I am in all likelihood going on my company meeting by myself and everyone else is bringing their husband/wife.
  • I am mad at my sister and worried about her too.
  • I had a good time in Destin.
  • I had a bad day shopping for groceries yesterday and Kroger noticed it. They gave me a $15.00 gift certificate. I told them it was not necessary but they insisted. Kudos to Kroger.
  • I missed a turn coming back from Destin but did manage to find my way back to Huntsville and still made good time. Kudos to me!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Weed Whacker!

In my previous post Land of Confusion I talked about being confused on what kind of weed eater to buy. Junebugg suggested that I go to Lowes or Home Depot and do some of that Flirting that we Southern Women are famous for. I might be able to get away with that at Home Depot but I pissed Lowe's off.

I bought a Troy built from Lowes because I thought it was a reputable brand. I think it probably still is a reputable brand HOWEVER I do not have enough upper body strength to pull the cord as quick as it must be pulled to start it. I had used the weed whacker twice before and always had to get a male neighbor to start it for me (Hence Flirting). Sunday the male neighbors were no where to be found or their wife's saw me coming and took them hostage. I got fed up with all this yanking and decided that my weed eater had a problem. When I walked into Lowes, low and behold there was another man with the same make and model weed eater returning it for the same reason as me. He could not get it to start. I was so relieved that I was not the only one with the weed whacker problem. Lowes gave us both refunds and we both purchased another weed whacker one of the same make and model. I got the weed whacker home, filled it with gas and tried to yank the cord. I tried and tried, even got GI Joe and his pal to try it. None of us had the strength to pull it as fast as it had to be pulled. By then my arm felt like I had jerked off about 30 men. I decided I was not going to keep something that I could not start. So back to Lowes I go. The lady at the customer service desk gave me a refund and apologized for my troubles. I told her that I would just buy the top of the line and that should surely take care of my problems. The weed whacker that I returned was $100.00, the one that I was going to buy was $269.00. I told her that I thought that I should get a discount for all my troubles. She agreed but said a manager would have to give the OK. A few minutes later this big burly man with arms the size of tree trunks comes up and says he would like to check this weed whacker out for himself. That really pissed me off but me being the polite woman that I am, said OK. We went outside and he proceeds to yank on that cord effortlessly. He yanked it about 10 times, it started then sputtered then went dead. He did some adjustments with the choke and pulled another 5 or 6 times and this time it fired right up. He looks at me and says "I'm sorry Ma'am but I can not authorize a refund when there is obviously nothing wrong with this equipment. I responded with, "May I have your phone number? I will call you every time I want to start it". He looks at me and says, please understand my position. There is nothing wrong with the weed eater, I am sorry that you are not able to start it. I can not authorize a refund. I smiled, looked at him and said "I understand your position perfectly, and I hope you understand my position. I have already received my refund and if I am going to have to pay full price for a weed eater it will be from someone else". His mouth dropped open, he was speechless. He had no idea that I already got the refund. I bid him a good day and prissed off. Yes - I prissed off!

Now, I will be doing some hands on research. I figure I will walk the neighborhood in search of men with weed eaters and ask them if I can yank on their equipment, take it for a test drive so to speak. After I find one that I can start by myself I will go purchase one of those.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Land of Confusion

These days I seem to live in a land of confusion. I am confused about the strangest things....

I am not a bike chick but I put a Ducati background on one of my profile's. Why? Because it is about as close as I can get to something that best describes me. I'll keep searching and will change it when and if I find something else that fits me.

It's OK to flirt. Isn't it?

I need to purchase a new weed eater and I feel very overwhelmed. Did you hear that? I am overwhelmed about a weed eater!

How does all that crap get under my sofa cushions?

Why do I get so stressed out when I find myself in situations that I can not control. Sure, I can leave the place that causes me the stress but it takes a long time for the panic feeling to leave me.

What the heck does "A stitch in time, saves nine" mean?

How is it that I receive so many wrong number phone calls and end up having conversations with these people? Last week a received a call from a guy looking for a woman with the same name as me. Can you believe that? I talked to him a few minutes thinking that I would figure out who it was that I was talking to. I finally asked him who he was. LOL - So there is a woman out there whose number is 1 digit away from mine and I have had a lengthy conversation with her friend. I wish he had asked me out!

The one thing that I can say for certain is that I love my new shoes that I bought last week.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Ugly Cars and Mashed Potatoes

I'd like to pride myself in seeing the good and beauty in everything. I just can't see it in some of the newer car models such as the Toyota Pirus. I mean what were they thinking? This reminds me of a dog with it's tail cut off.

When I saw this car I started thinking what else in this world do I find offensive. It was hard but I did come of with a few items that totally make me go iiiickk!!!
1. Hybrid cars
2. Mashed potatoes (I will eat them but they are ugly to look at)
3. Jelly Fish
4. Box woods. I have some in my landscaping and will be replacing them soon.
5. Goucho Pants
6. Unpolished toenails
7. Rust
8. Men who dip.
9. The scent of vanilla
10. My neighbors yard
I wouldn't feel right without also naming a few things that I find beautiful.
1. Weeping Willow Trees.
2. Mustang Cars (especially the 66 Coupe)
3. Turtles
4. The scent of Gardenia
5. Some tattoos. I don't have one and don't want one but some are truly a work of art and I admire that.
6. Slow dancing
7. Crosses and Crucifixes
8. The lake, the beach or a pond.
9. Diamonds
10. Music

What is ugly and what is beautiful to you?

Friday, July 06, 2007

The Necklace

A few post back Friday Funk I had been really down in the dumps. My spirits are now lifted and for a few reasons.
  1. I went out with an open mind and had a good time.

  2. A stranger took off his necklace and gave it to me.

  3. I had sex.

  4. I went to Trickster's parents house for the 4th of July and experienced the family thing.

  5. I dropped a dress size

On my Friday Funk post I mentioned that I had committed to going out with a girl who I had reservations about. I did go out with her and a big bunch of her friends last Saturday night. I had an OK time but only because I was still a little down. Princess called me Tuesday night and asked if I wanted to join her and her friend for a drink and I almost said no but decided to go instead. My hesitation was because again I was feeling really in the dumps. I was feeling more lonely than ever because my company announced that they were taking all of us and our spouses or significant other on a weekend trip, all expenses paid. I am the only one in our company without a spouse or significant other and it bothered me. So, when Princess invited me to go out. I said YES with the attitude that I was going to talk to every man that I met. Me and Princess made a joke of it and said I was taking applications for an escort. It was a great way to meet people and I have to admit that I had an awesome time. I laughed so much at myself and some of the potential applicants.

Later that night a young man came in and I noticed his necklace. His necklace brought back a memory that to some might be a bad one but to me it was a very good memory. The necklace this young man was wearing was exactly like a necklace that I stole when I was 14 years old. The only diffence in the two necklace's was that the one that I stole had a wooden disk and his was made of metal. I guess I must have gotten over excited about his necklace because he took it off and said I could have it. I put it on and thanked him. I tried to tell him why the necklace meant so much to me but it was crowded and he had some friends and I can't go from point A to point B without 1st visiting point C, D and E. It would have taken way to long. So, to the young man in the medical fatigues, this is for you. Thank You! The reason my memory of a stolen necklace was so good is not because I stole it and didn't get caught, it was because I stole it and DID get caught. It was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I was in JC Penney's with some friends who were on the wrong path. They were all doing it so I figured that I would too. I got caught and they didn't. The security guard called my Dad and told him that he would have to come get me. My Dad came down to the store and let me say, back then it was OK to spank a child and I nearly wet my pants because I feared the belt that I would get when I got home. Daddy surprised me. He was very calm and asked how much the necklace was. He paid the $2.99 and turned to me and told me to put it on. I did as I was told and then he said he better not catch me with that necklace off of my neck for 6 months. He said I had to shower in it, sleep in it, wear it all the time NO EXCEPTIONS! It was leather and wood so there was no way it was going to rust. It was such an unusual looking necklace back in 1974 that anyone who saw it on me, automatically said something about it, which reminded me of just how it was that I came to have it around my neck. I did wear that necklace for 6 months. After that I threw it away. When I saw the necklace on this guy, I remembered how after that day, I thought twice before doing things that I knew better about. It was one of the best life's lessons Daddy could have taught me.

I don't think I want to elaborate right now about the sex that I had later that night. I will just say that I didn't have sex with me, myself and I. And I didn't have sex with the young man who gave me the necklace but it was DAMN GOOD!

Wednesday Princess called me and asked me to join her and her friend by the pool and I did, this time without hesitation. Because after the necklace thing, I was reminded of the many things in life that I have learned and one of them was not to judge people. We laid out by the pool till Trickster called and asked where I was. So, I left the pool and went to my second family's house to party like a rock star and eat goat stew. Love that family!

Today I went shopping and had to buy a size smaller!

Today life is good!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Dear Doctor from the Hump

Dear Doctor or nurse or medical field specialist. I just wanted to let you know that if you are looking for my post about the necklace that you gave me, I have been swamped but will post a special blog just for you soon. Thanks so much, what you gave me was more than a necklace!