Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I am fairly sure that I am losing my mind
I am fairly sure that I am losing my mind and the sad thing is, I don't want to find it. Here is a list of things that I know for certain.
My head has been hurting for 3 days
When I fill out any sort of paperwork and they ask those stupid questions such as married, single, divorced, etc...I draw a line and write "Looking", I also answer "Yes" when they ask your sex type. Next time I think when I see that line that says Sex____, I'm going to write, yes and I prefer to be on top.
When I see turtles, I am overwhelmed with joy and calmness. There is a commercial on TV now that has 2 turtles in a lawn chair. I don't know what it is but somehow I can connect with turtles.
I like gargoyles. I somehow can identify with them too. Everyone thinks they look so evil, not me. I think they are just misunderstood and need love too.
I can not concentrate
BOB does not count as true sex.
I tried to cook a roast in the oven and, well uhmmm, has anyone ever seen a fried pot roast? Very tender and very dry. Did I mention that I can't cook?
I am pretty sure that I almost have an orgasm when I eat steak. This is truly sad! I know it must be happening because while I'm chewing, I'm also making moaning sounds. What else could this be?
My couch now makes a horrible creaking noise when you sit down or get up, like the springs are broken, and I have not had sex on my couch. Who has been having sex on my couch?????