Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I am fairly sure that I am losing my mind

I am fairly sure that I am losing my mind and the sad thing is, I don't want to find it. Here is a list of things that I know for certain.

  • My head has been hurting for 3 days
  • When I fill out any sort of paperwork and they ask those stupid questions such as married, single, divorced, etc...I draw a line and write "Looking", I also answer "Yes" when they ask your sex type. Next time I think when I see that line that says Sex____, I'm going to write, yes and I prefer to be on top.

  • When I see turtles, I am overwhelmed with joy and calmness. There is a commercial on TV now that has 2 turtles in a lawn chair. I don't know what it is but somehow I can connect with turtles.

  • I like gargoyles. I somehow can identify with them too. Everyone thinks they look so evil, not me. I think they are just misunderstood and need love too.

  • I can not concentrate
  • BOB does not count as true sex.

  • I tried to cook a roast in the oven and, well uhmmm, has anyone ever seen a fried pot roast? Very tender and very dry. Did I mention that I can't cook?

  • I am pretty sure that I almost have an orgasm when I eat steak. This is truly sad! I know it must be happening because while I'm chewing, I'm also making moaning sounds. What else could this be?

  • My couch now makes a horrible creaking noise when you sit down or get up, like the springs are broken, and I have not had sex on my couch. Who has been having sex on my couch?????

    Jay said...

    I make those same moaning sounds when I have my feet rubbed. Sometimes the neighbours must really wonder.

    Your gargoyle comment made me remember a summer I spent working at a gift shop where they were big sellers. But they were made of stone and really heavy, and I cannot tell you how many broken toes and fingers were caused by them. I think they still give me nightmares, and not for the reason people normally are afraid of them.

    Kelwhy said...

    IT was not me on your couch - i swear it....

    Junebugg said...

    I've got a thing for gargoyles and dragons, maybe I was Goth or a vampire in another live, lord knows I'm a night time person.

    I know what you mean about moaning over food-a perfect steak, rich creamy chocolate anything and fresh seafood all make me do one of those Meg Ryan moans.

    Sounds like you need sex.........