Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Cake Lady Lottery

OK, so last night I had a melt down and cried for hours. I tried my best not to but the more I tried the harder the tears fell. I am thankful that my piglets were not there to witness this pathetic sight. I finally realized that the emptiness that I feel is for a companion. I have been divorced for 5 years. Tricks brother "Best 30 seconds of my life" filled it for a time but even then I never gave myself completely because I knew it would not last because of the 650 miles that separated us. Then there is Mr. Florida, I have given myself completely but he hasn't reciprocated. I thought I was OK with that till Mr. Shark came along. He just turned my world upside down. It wasn't for a long period of time but what he did give me in the short time that we were together made me realize that I truly do want a companion.

Last night I read a blog from Assensphincta and it just touched my heart. This woman is so strong and brave. She knows what she wants and it doesn't matter to her that her wants go against what society has told us is right. She talked about how she never wanted to get married but did and how it took her so long to figure out that marriage doesn't make you love anyone more and that sometimes you lose yourself just trying to please your spouse. She finally found herself and has made it clear that she doesn't want to lose herself again. Assensphincta I admire your courage.

This whole sob story has come about because I just want to be treated like Cinderella for a night (actually the rest of my life) but a night will do for a start. I want to have a companion for Saturday night when I go to "The Producers". Trick and I are going shopping for a man tonight. We have decided to try some new places. I think the best thing to do would be to sell lottery tickets. My reasoning is that when Ross Perot ran for president he wrote a book to explain his views and he didn't give it away, he sold it. He was asked why he was selling his book instead of giving it away and he said it was because he wanted the public to read it. If you give something away no one pays attention to it, but when you put a value on it then people will take notice. I think I am valuable and want someone to take notice. I'll let you know what happens.

Oh - and on a good note, today while I was Physical Therapy one of the employees was celebrating her Birthday and there was cake. I was offered a piece and of course I said YES! Never pass up the opportunity for a piece of Celebration Cake, and never pass up the opportunity to pee!

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