Thursday, December 28, 2006

Someone played with my balls!

I hope everyone had a very lovely and Merry Christmas!

It has been a while since I posted. I just haven't felt like doing much of anything. I felt it necessary to give everyone an update on the decorated walker. It worked! Maybe it worked a little to well. The last time I went out (right before Christmas), I went to a department store called "Bed, Bath & Beyond". As soon as I walked in a young man around the age of 30 - 35 ran up to me and emediately started playing with my dangling balls. It caught me off guard to say the least. If that were not enought, he then followed me through the store teasing me in a playful way about my balls and my walker and how it was that I came to be in the shape i'm in. Some (most) of his remarks were way out of line for an employee to be saying to a customer but I am not easily offended and just took it in stride. When I was ready to check out he made it a point to make sure I got in his line. He checked me out and bid me goodbye and urged me to come back again very soon. I called Trick and told her about it and she suggested I make him my new boy toy. He is a bit young for me and way to obnoxious so I say he would be a good candidate for Trick, now that she is single again.
Take Care!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Check Out My New Ride!



Now Don't get jealous. I worked very hard to get this. And if any of you out there are feeling sorry for me then you have not seen just what this really is. Last January I had a total hip replacement in my right hip and I liked it so much that tomorrow at 2:30pm I'm getting another racing stripe on my right hip. This sleek piece of equipment is sure to draw the attention of every male I come in sight with. Why you ask? Because I am just to damn young to be going through this. So, I'm just going to make the best out of it. Since it's quite obvious that Mr. Shark is no longer interested in making me Mrs. Shark or at the very least Mrs. Shark of the night, then I plan to flirt with every male I come in contact with. Yep - I'm going to make sure to drop some items in front of them and with me living in the South then I am assured that they will pick said item up for me. Then I'll smile graciously and Thank them. I need to practice that certain smile that Trick says I have. Apparently it's quite flirtatious. I am also going to put some Christmas garland around it. That should surely get someone's attention. And if they don't pay attention to me then I'll be forced to do the unthinkable. I will bring out the cow bell and attach it to my new racer! I looked in the mirror this morning and darn it! I am not ugly, I think I'm even cute at times. Look out Trick I'm on the prowl. I liked Mr. Shark a lot but he is not the only fish in the sea!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Coping

  1. Deal with your feelings. Feelings are important because they tell us what we need to feel better. To deal with our feelings, we must name them, tell ourselves it's o.k. to feel them, express them in a safe way, and then decide what we need to do to feel better.
  2. Adjust your attitude. What we tell ourselves about a situation will determine how we feel about it. Telling ourselves about the good side of things, or having a positive attitude, can help us feel better.
  3. Discover your choices. In every situation there are things that we can and cannot change. We help ourselves by choosing something that can be changed and working toward that goal. (Remember, our attitude is something that can always be changed.)
  4. Accept imperfection. No person or thing in this world is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We can help ourselves to feel better by reminding ourselves of this, and then by adjusting our attitude or discovering our choices.
  5. Give yourself a break. When we get tired, physically or emotionally, we can help ourselves to get our energy back by relaxing or taking a break from what we are doing. Taking a break helps us to feel better.
  6. Take things one step at a time. Having too much to do or think about can get us feeling overwhelmed. If we stop and pay attention to ourselves, and use patience and gentle words with ourselves, we can feel better.
  7. Treat yourself kindly. When we are angry at ourselves, or push ourselves too hard, it can make us feel worse. If we stop and pay attention to ourselves, and use patience and gentle words with ourselves, we can feel better.
  8. Plan ahead. When we have a lot to do or think about, planning ahead can help prevent problems before they arise. If we plan ahead, we can make sure that we have enough time and energy, and the tools we need to get the job done.
  9. Ask for help. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, or how many coping skills we use, we still can't solve our problem. That is when it is time to ask for someone else to help us so that things can get better.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Wanted - Battery Operated Christmas Lights!

Well everyone, it's that time of year again. If the Holiday's were not enough, this year will be even more trying for me. Next Thursday I will be having some major surgery. I'm having my right hip totally replaced. I'm not too terribly nervous about this. Last January I had my left hip totally replaced and I did really well. The thing that bothers me most is that I will have to walk around using a walker for about 3 wks. That is so depressing. Not to mention that I can't drive for 3 wks. I am trying to make the best of it though. Now that we are officially in the Christmas season, I think it would be appropriate for me to decorate my granny walker with Christmas garland and lights (if I can find some battery operated lights). I have to draw the line with the bells though. I have to get my tree put up this weekend. I have to finish my Christmas shopping, or maybe it would be more accurate to say "start my Christmas shopping". I have a Birthday party to go to on Sunday afternoon. The White Russian is coming to town on Tuesday, My Mother is coming to town on Wednesday. I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. Let me hear about your problems so I'll quit thinking so much about mine.
Merry Christmas to all!
The Cake Lady!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

The Cake Lady Horoscope

Getting overwhelmed by details? Buckle down and go through them one by one today. Overwhelmed does not begin to describe how I feel. There is not enough hours in the day to go through everything. I'm having major surgery on the 14th. I have to get Christmas for my friends and family taken care of before then. I have to put my tree up. I need to clean out closets so I would have a place to put some of this clutter that has accumulated in the past few months. It's one of those days in which you're better off just sticking to your routines than improvising. Now that's a conflict, it just said to buckle down and go through my details one by one. Now it's telling me to just stick to routine. I have been routinely just piling things in a corner because I don't know where to put them. If someone gets on your case for not being perfect, take a step back to get a fresh perspective. I see no problem here, afterall I am near perfect. If your blood is moving slowly and you feel sluggish, bootstrap yourself straight into exercise. Now I know this is a crock of shit. My blood is definitely moving slow, and it's because I can't take any freaking advil because Advil thins the blood. I can't freaking move fast because I'm near crippled!!! I think I'll just exercise with the 12oz curls tonight. It's been one of those weeks. Aunt J - I'll be calling you later!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Tagged

I've been tagged and have no one to tag back.

Name "6 weird things about you". In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
  1. I love Coors Light Beer and Chocolate Cake or Chocolate Chip Cookies
  2. I have a fetish for socks, I went to New York last week and all I bought myself was a pair of socks with the subway map on them.
  3. I think like a man
  4. I do not use a wash cloth when I bathe, I prefer my hand and a bar of soap.
  5. I like nuts but I do not like them in my food. I like them just by themselves.
  6. When I sleep I like to hang my feet off the end of the bed.

Monday, December 04, 2006

She's gone

I have put off this blog because it's makes me angry that a young, beautiful woman and mother has passed away. God forgive me for being so judgmental. It seems to me that this death could have been avoided. Dear friend, why did you not let someone drive you home? Why did you not put on your safety belt? Why were you driving so fast in the rain? God be with those who are hurting more than me, there are many. When I feel really down and feel like I need to pray and don't know what to say to God, I pray the Lords Prayer. It seems to cover everything, so here goes.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory.
for ever and ever.
Amen
God be with you!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I Am Thankful For...

  • I am Thankful that 2 nights in a row no one has gotten sick after eating what I cooked.
  • I am Thankful for having something to cook.
  • I am Thankful for the many friends that I have.
  • I am Thankful that I am in good health and my children are in good heath.
  • I am Thankful that I have God in my life.
  • I am Thankful that I have patience.
  • I am Thankful for my neighbors.
  • I am Thankful for the clothes that I have.
  • I am Thankful when my children come home safely.
  • I am Thankful for the freedom that I have.
  • I am Thankful that I am blessed with Gods Love.

May God bless you all and keep you safe.

The Cake Lady!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Too Much Time on my Hands

I have too much time on my hands. I am going to have to buy some paint and start painting my house to keep my mind on things that it should not be on.

The only change in someone's mother and daughter and friend is not a good change. I believe there is something to that saying "hope for the best and prepare for the worst" So many people are hurting over this tragedy. I believe before the accident she was suffering emotionally. I have to believe that God felt her pain and he reached down and put his arms around her.

Yesterday our community was hit with another horrific tragedy. A school bus returning to high school flipped off an interstate overpass. As of today 4 children are dead and another 6 or so are still in the hospital, some in critical condition.

Queenie is going with 2 of her girlfriends to Birmingham tomorrow for a wresting match. She and the other 2 girls are Mat Maids. It absolutely scares me to near panic to let her go. I have no reason not to, but with all the stuff happening so close to me. I want to put her in a cage so I can protect her. Of course I know that's not going to happen, and I have no logical reason not to let her go. I wonder if she would notice me tailing them???

I cooked last night and everyone survived. I am going to try it again tonight. This time I'm cooking from scratch, nothing from a box or can. Trickster says she is sick but I believe she would just say anything to get out of eating what I cook :-)

Take Care All!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Prayers needed

Today I am somber. I have a friend who was involved in a horrific car accident last night, she might not make it through this. The Doctors have said that it doesn't look good. Without saying her name, I'll just ask that anyone reading this say a prayer for her and her family.
God Bless you friend!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Whacky Wednesday

I have so much to say and nothing at all. So i'll just keep it Whacky!


  • When I die I want to be buried next to Jewels and Kuddly.

  • I do not like Red vehichles.

  • I love to fish, don't care for what, just get me near the water.

  • I am learning to cook.

  • I am growing my hair longer to donate to Locks of Love

  • I have incredibly wonderful friends.

  • I love any kind of yellow flower.

  • Queenie is talking to me again.

  • My checkbook register is plastic and torn.
  • Thursday, November 09, 2006

    An emotional outburst may strike....

    I really don't believe in Horoscopes but I do enjoy reading them. As soon as I started reading today's horoscope I started laughing and miraculously the laughter didn't turn to tears.

    Thursday November 9th (Aquarius) An emotional outburst may strike within or near your family today. I think this one is off by a day or two. The world is asking for a whole lot more than you're ready to give. See if you can duck out of it. Did I say yesterday that I was looking for a hidy hole? A partnership that's founded on a genuine trust is a prize. Wait for someone who deserves yours. I have been doing this for 5 years now. Oddities and peculiarities hold your gaze today, enrapturing you with departures from the norm. I keep thinking back about a wet dream that I had last night, it was odd and peculiar and it is keeping my attention.

    Maybe there is something to this Horoscope stuff, maybe it's just off by a couple of days.

    Friday, November 03, 2006

    Friday!

    Mom's in town and she is already asking what we plan on doing tonight. Aunt J just called and said there is a new bar that we have to check out. The bartender of one of our favorite watering holes has opened up her own bar. I just can't figure out where this bar is based on Aunt J's description. I'll check with Trickster and The Man.

    Now for the Bitching. I went to GI Joes last football game last night and it's not the game that I'm going to Bitch about, it's the stupidity of some people. One of the Mother's of one of our players was there. I don't really know her. I know she lives in my neighborhood, she is divorced, her older son goes to school with Queenie and he is one of the star football players at her high school, and I know that she was staggering drunk at the football game. When she first came up and started talking to me she seemed a bit disheveled. The more she talked to me I realized that she wasn't just unorganized in her thoughts but she was drunk. One of the other mothers told the head coach that she was drunk and he said he would invite her son out for ice cream so that she would not be driving with him in the car. When I left she was parked right beside me. Some of the other ladies were there trying to persuade her not to drive. I offered to drive her car and let Mama drive my car, that way her car wouldn't be left there overnight but she wanted no part of that. I told her that sometimes people make mistakes and that if I were ever in this situation, I hoped someone offered to help me out but again she said no. I told the ladies good night and went home. I hope she made it home alright. The really sad thing is that last nights incident will probably get back to her older High School son. I can only imagine the embarrassment.

    Now something good! I had lunch with freaky Jewels today. I love her dearly even if she is a freak. She is one of those people that you can just walk in to her house unannounced and her greeting would be something like "hi freak, what are you doing here? Do you want a diet coke". She doesn't know it but when I got up this morning I thought my hair looked so good that I didn't even brush it. She would just laugh if she knew it. I think she may have done that a time or two.

    Oh Oh Oh - I am just so darned proud of myself. Trickster taught me how to link a name! If your reading this Trick, I'll trade you some brussel sprouts that have been in my freezer since January for some spaghetti. I'm sure the Brusselsl sprouts are fine but I'll check the expiration date if you want me to.

    Now for some random thoughts. Queenie was inducted into the National Honor Society, GI Joe is still struggling in school. We will be taking a cab tonight, I have to get up way too early in the morning because Mama bought some charity ticket that gets us into Parisians for some shopping before the store opens up. I'm only going because I'm nice like that. My co-worker has a camel toe big time.

    Thursday, November 02, 2006

    Just a Thursday

    Yesterday was Norma Jean's Birthday and I took her out for drinks and dinner. I am trying desperately to get her out of her house and away from her ex-husband. In my eyes he is just plain scum. Poor Norma Jean can't stand to be alone so she keeps letting this creep in her life. Why can't she be as picky as I am?

    If any of you readers out there are thinking about going to the Jazz Factory for dinner - Don't. I took Norma Jean there for dinner and I was so disappointed. The food was just so, so. Service was good though so I tipped our waitress well.

    Then after dinner we went back to the local downtown bar and ran into Trickster and the Man.

    Was home by 10:00.

    Mama is in town for the weekend so I guess, I better get ready to party. Aunt J, Trickster - I'll be looking for some backup. She is a season ticket holder for the Broadway theater league. I must admit, that I like it!!! Her season tickets are second row from the stage, dead center. She is seeing Hairspray Saturday night and I suppose she will be taking Norma Jean with her for her birthday.

    Only 28 days left till NYC. And I found a really nice slum for us to sleep in. This slum is only $128.00 per night in Manhattan vs the other slum that we were going to pay $225.00 per night. Life is good.

    Tuesday, October 31, 2006

    Long Day Yesterday

    Yesterday was a long day and I'm glad that it's over. My boss and I had an appointment in Smyrna TN. It takes about 2 hours to get there from Huntspatch AL. We ride up to TN in his Ford F150 that needs a ladder for me to get into. Seriously, I am glad I wore pants. So, off we go in a truck big enough that it probably qualifies as a small rig. And anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a thrill seeker. I look over and he's doing 75mph in a 45mph zone. Hey it's his ticket but I'm more concerned about where the "Oh Shit" handle is. Of course I'm also trying not to seem like I'm about to piss my pants. So I just start chanting and praying in my head. Every thing is OK, Every thing is OK. After a couple of wrong turns, we finally get to Smyrna TN. He nor I have any Idea where this facility is that we are supposed to be going to. So, I tell my Boss because he has a woman in the car that it's OK to ask for directions. He actually thought about this for a second or 2 then said, OK go ahead and call. I make the call to our client and the receptionist answers, asks who we are coming to see. Then says are you sure you have an appointment?? I reply "Yes". Then she tells me that our client had to make a sudden trip to SC. What a waist of my valuable time. So we said we would reschedule. Which means I get another roller coaster ride in the big rig. We stopped for lunch and some steak house called Legends that looked promising on the outside and there was a big sign saying it was under new management. Hey Folks - I got news for legends, they need another new management. It was 12:30 and we were practically the only 2 people in the restaurant. We finally got someone to take our order. The food wasn't too bad but the service sucked. So, we eat and we get in the big rig to go home. Coming back wasn't so bad because he took a different route (one less winding) maybe he noticed me turning white a couple of times.

    We get back to Huntsville about 4:00. I had an appointment to give blood at 4:00. The bloodmobile was right outside our office in the parking lot so it only took me a second. The last time I gave blood it only took about 30 minutes from beginning to end. Yesterday it took 2 hours. They take your information, then take you back to a private room where they begin to ask questions such as, do you have sex in exchange for money or food? Have you had sex with a known homosexual, have you been shooting up? Those type questions. Then they prick your finger to make sure your iron level is good. Then they have you pull up your sleeves to make sure your not a junky. Then they take your pulse and your blood pressure. This whole screening should take no more than 5-6 minutes unless the screener is a trainee. My screening took about 20 minutes. After the screening I get to go to the reclining chair. The lady who was setting up for this did a great job. She was the only one who was not a trainee, she was the trainer. She gets the needle in my arm the 1st time, just a little poke. All is going well then just when the bag is almost full, I start to pass out. This is not uncommon. But all the other people in the bloodmobile had never experienced this and they were all in an uproar. The blood takers did a good job. They pulled the recliner upside down so my feet were higher than my head. Put ice under my neck, on top my neck and on my stomach. Then made me do the Dorothy dance (I want to go home, I want to go home) with my feet, while telling me to keep my eyes open. I just wanted to go to sleep. When I finally was coherent again, all the other people were just stunned. I went from near unconsciousness to may I have another cookie? When you faint, they make you stay there a while just to make sure you'll be fine when you leave. I was there about 2 hours. I did sleep really well last night.

    Tonight I'm having dinner with the Trickster. Yummy, she can cook. BTW - I still haven't figured out how to make Trickster's name a link. I can't remember who it was that told me how to do this but I'll be looking back and sending you an e-mail. I copied her link but it shows her link and not her name. I want to just reference her name and when you click on her name then it takes you to her site.

    One final note. I encourage everyone to give blood. I thought that the bloodbanks were only looking for the rare type. I found out yesterday that they are always in short supply of all types of blood.

    Friday, October 27, 2006

    Expiration Dates?? What??

    This morning I was watching the Today show while I was getting ready for work. They were talking about expiration dates on medicine, food and such and I got to thinking. Does beef jerky have an expiration date? I am going to go through my house tonight and look for things that SHOULD NOT have an expiration date, just to see if they do. Why am I doing this? Well, it's simple. I am a freak with nothing better to do. I'll be updating you later on what I find that has an expiration date. Mean while, I'll just continue to chew on my beef jerky that has been in my desk drawer for a couple of years. I really think it should be safe. When I was a kid I lived on a farm and my Daddy killed pigs and cows and hung the meat in the smoke house. For those of you that are not familiar with this. It's a house or shed that meat is smoked in for years I guess because it seams there was always meat in the smoke house. So, for all I know this beef jerky could have come from my Daddy's smoke house. Yum Yum!

    Take Care!

    Tuesday, October 24, 2006

    So Much to Say.....

    Where do I start? There is no beginning and there is no end. Saturday I visited with my second family and watched the ballgame and ate, and drank a little and ate some more. My second family is a very large family and they welcome everyone. One of the family members didn't show up because she felt it was more important to stay at home and mope. She did send her husband and child though. I wish that she could see things from another perspective. This extended family member seems to want to take on all of her families problems but not address her own. I think this is called co-dependency. Not only is she a co-dependent but she is so obviously depressed. I know because I have been there before. Luckily I got help. This girl has a husband, a child, good health, a very nice home, nice car, doesn't have to work, and yet she looks at things like she is a victim. She complains because she is lonely, she complains that she is fat, she complains that her husband drinks to much, she complains that no one understands what she is going through, yet she does nothing about it. It has been suggested to her that she and her husband see a counselor but she will not see one unless he/she is a Christian counselor. I don't see how she can judge someone until she has at least tried it. But if that's what she thinks will fix things then by all means find one, quit complaining and recognize how truly blessed you are. I am afraid if she keeps pushing people away (in particular her husband) that she will push him to much and he will not come back. My prayer for you my friend is that you take the help that is offered to you from all of your friends and family and help yourself.

    Then there's Norma Jean. She has again floored me. She is seeing her ex-husband again. Does the girl have no self respect??? This guy is scum. Sure he may be doing OK right now but he's been there before. I can see the pattern why can't she?

    Oh well - I have to stop, this is just depressing. I should pay attention to what my horoscope said today. If you are down now, you don't have to stay down. You are able to rise.
    Take Care and God Bless!

    Friday, October 13, 2006

    Just call me clueless!

    Hey everyone. I am back from my FABULOUS vacation in Panama City Beach, FL. I was very apprehensive about going because I was going with all of the extended family. We had so much fun, I actually shed a tear when I left. Which brings me to the clueless part. I swear I can't go anywhere without a map. I printed out the directions from Huntsville to PCB and got there without problem. Then I had this harebrained Idea to just go by what I knew. Get on Front Beach road (SR98), North on 331, North on I65 to Huntsville exit. It was so easy going down. Now everyone get out your Florida maps for this, everyone who knows me knows that I like details. OK, do you see PCB? Now look for 331 off of SR98, now look for Gulf Shores AL. Do you see how far away Gulf Shores is from 331? Yep, I sure did! I kept thinking that this stuff didn't look familiar but thought "how could I miss 331". Me being a woman not afraid to ask for directions stopped and got directions. I took another route home. I think I added about 1 hour to my already 7 hour trip. Today I went to lunch with addagirl. I should have taken a map. We decided to go to "Little Rosies" for lunch. Who would have guessed that "Little Rosies" and "Rosies" are not the same. The have the same menu, they look the same to me, but they are no where close to each other. I get to the Rosies that I thought we were meeting at. It was noisy and I couldn't hear well so I text addagirl and tell her that I'm toward the back. She text's back and tells me that she is toward the front. I look and can't find her. I text her and tell her to stand up. Still no addagirl. I finally call her and find out that I am in the wrong place. I zip right on over there. Our lunch was cut short because I got lost but it was good.

    Does anyone out there know who to make it so that when I reference one of my friends that have a blog, you can click on it and it takes you to their blog? I'm sure I can figure it out. I follow directions very well and I read a map even better!

    Monday, October 02, 2006

    Rednecks at the Grocery Store

    Yesterday after I sent the piglets off with their Dad for a week, I decided to stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things for the week. I was roaming the isles aimlessly looking at everything, reading the labels, comparing prices etc....just having a grand time. It was so relaxing. Then I rounded a corner and got behind a young family. The Man and his Wife looked about 16 and their son about 4 or 5. The father was telling his son to say to his mother "Hurry up Ho", the Mom said that was not a nice thing to say. And the father said he was just joking and encouraged his son again to say "Hurry up Ho" and the mother then laughed. What I was hearing made me sick and I wanted to go rescue the young boy from the idiots who were his parents. How could they think something so degrading was funny?
    The Cake Lady

    Thursday, September 28, 2006

    Random Thoughts by The Cake Lady

    • When you dream all night about someone asking if you shaved your legs, it is probably important to shave your legs when you wake up.
    • Taking toilet paper into the shower with you to blow your nose after the hot water has loosened up your sinuses is not a good idea.
    • It is not a good idea to go home alone after drinking too many vodka and red bull's.
    • Strangers do want you to ask for a slice of their celebration cake, it makes them feel important.
    • Tequila is the best cure for shyness.

    Wednesday, September 27, 2006

    Trash in the cushions

    Is it just my house or does everyone need a rake to get the shit out from under the couch cushions? I know the piglets are messy but holy crap! Last night I was looking for the remote control and when I lifted up the cushions I nearly fainted. I vacuumed under those cushions about a month ago. And I only have the piglets every other week so everything that I saw was accumulated in about 2 weeks. Does everyone have this type of trouble or is it just me? I am seriously thinking of buying a roll of that plain white paper that the grocery store wraps meat in, and just unroll it and put it under the cushions, then every day remove the paper and what is laying on it and throw it away. Sort of like they do at restaurants and Doctors offices. I need to know where do you find the most trash in your house (places it shouldn't be).
    I am just perplexed and mystified.
    The Cake Lady

    Tuesday, September 26, 2006

    Today is a better day!

    I finally forgave myself for my stupidity and naiveness. I will tell everyone at a later date what I did that was so stupid after I have had enough time to forgive myself to the point that I can laugh at what I did. No one got hurt (me) but I could have. Queenie and GI Joe are back and I am so happy. I realize that the weeks that I am alone that I tend to be a bit lost and lonely. It seems every man that I meet that I'm interested in lives 650 miles away. I am a true believer of love at 1st site and I think that is why I don't date a lot. I now have plane tickets and a hotel in New York!!! I'm still looking for a lesser priced hotel but If we don't find one then we will be OK. Me and the kids are leaving for Panama City October the 8th and GI Joe is just about to pee his pants, he is so ready to go. And I'm even getting a little excited myself. We are are going down with my Dad. My sister Norma Jean and her 2 rug rats will be there too. It will be the 1st vacation I have gone on with Daddy since I was 14. I'm mostly excited about the fishing. I know that I appear to be a girlie girl but deep down I'm a woMAN. I'd rather do yard work any day over house work. I think the weather also might have something to do with my mood. The sun is shining!
    Take Care!
    The Cake Lady

    Monday, September 25, 2006

    I can't hold my eye's open much longer

    This weekend really sucked and it's mostly my fault. Friday night I could have gotten myself into a lot of trouble thankfully I had someone looking out for me. Saturday and Sunday all I did was beat myself up for being so stupid. Don't ask cause I'm not telling what happend. I haven't slept in 3 days. I plan to go to sleep early tonight so maybe Tuesday wont be so bad.
    Take Care
    The Cake Lady!

    Friday, September 22, 2006

    Rainy Day's get me down

    I don't have a lot to write about today. It's Friday and it's a rainy day (yuck). Since I don't have a lot to say, I'll just give you a few things that you probably don't know about me. Every One knows I love Cake but I'll bet you didn't know this.


    1. I once won a contest for whistling the loudest and longest.
    2. I Don't leave my zip code unless I have a map in my car.
    3. I Love Chocolate Chip cookies and Coors Light.
    4. I Never changed a diaper before my Queenie was born. The nurse had to show me how. She thought I was kidding. She asked who had been changing her diaper while I was in the hospital (3 days) and I told her all my visitors had been changing it.
    5. I once got so stoned when I was driving the car and forgot I was the one driving and ran into a ditch. I recovered the car before it hit anything.
    6. I went to a meeting once and arrived late. I was told it was a very informal meeting. When I got there I realized that it was a very important meeting. I just wanted to sit down so I sat at the nearest chair, which happened to be the CEO's table. I sat right next to him. Everyone thought I was a VIP. I didn't even realize it till the speaker was finished and came to sit down, only to find that I was in his seat. He just got another chair and sat down next to me.
    7. I Have been Snipe hunting.
    8. I have demonic bitch cat that everyone wants to put to sleep.
    9. I hate to shower on Saturday's
    10. I am extremely mechanically inclined.
    11. I can sew.
    12. I can not cook.

    Take Care!

    The Cake Lady

    Wednesday, September 20, 2006

    Crisp Air

    Good Morning all you bloggers! Nothing has changed from yesterday except the air. Summer is my favorite over all season but I must admit the crisp morning air in the deep South is like drug. All I want to do is keep breathing. Anyone who has ever been in the South during the summer know that it is so humid, that God must have forgotten to give us gills. I talked to my other sister Isabella, she is a teacher. She gave me a different perspective on this 6th grade situation. She told me to not think his failing grades are a reflection on me. The more I get stressed out, the more it will stress GI Joe out. I never actually thought about it in that way but she is right. I do see his failure as a reflection on me. I'm still going to get him a tutor and I'm going to ease up on him. If he fails then it should be easier for him next year. We can't open the windows in our office so I am going to prop the door open just so I can breath the crisp air. OH!!!!! in case any of you readers out there are Doctors. I have something for you to invent. How about a device to swab someone's mouth for strep throat without having to stick those sticks down your throat. I can't believe no one has come up with something like that yet.
    Take Care!
    The Cake Lady

    Tuesday, September 19, 2006

    I am so scared :-(

    I am so scared that GI Joe is not going to pass 6th grade. I am nearly at tears (really). GI Joe is so unlike his sister Queenie. He is a good looking, caring, makes friends easily, has an awesome imagination and in some ways very smart. Queenie is all that too except the smart part comes easy for her. School has been in session now for less than 6 wks and GI Joe has missed 5 days (counting today). He just called and asked me to pick him up because he didn't feel good. I told him that I understood that he didn't feel good but he was going to have to tough it out and stay at school. He then called his Dad and his Dad went to get him. I am not upset with his Dad, if he had called me back I would have gone to get him. It's just that he has missed so much school and every time he is out he has so much work to make up. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. I don't know if he is really sick, or he is making himself sick???? I am going to go now a waller in self pity because I am a fixer and I can't fix this :-(

    The Cake Lady :-(

    Monday, September 18, 2006

    I can't believe she did it.

    Hey all you Mothers out there. Would you drop your 11 year old child off at a High School football game by herself??? I didn't think so. Apparently some folks out there have no common sense, or maybe I am just too strict. Every year at the opening of the 1st Huntsville High School home football game, there is a ceremony called little Panther night. Little Panthers are the boys who play football in the Huntsville High area but are not old enough to play High school football. My 11 year old GI Joe is a little Panther. He asked if his girl friend could come to the game with us. I told him I didn't mind but I was not going to pick her up. Last week was very stressful for me and the only reason I went to the game was for the Little Panther Ceremony. Anyway - I'm sitting in the bleachers watching GI Joe out there on the field with all the Little Panthers and my cell phone rang. I would ordinarily just let it go to voice mail but Queenie was down in Auburn so I did answer it. It was the little girlfriends mom, wanting to know where we were sitting. I told her and shortly there after here comes the little girl. I asked her where her mother was and she said that she had just dropped her off. I couldn't believe the woman just dropped her 11 year old daughter off at a High school football game to stay with us and she had never even met me before. I had not even laid eyes on the girl till that night. At around 9:15 I told GI Joe and friend that I was ready to go and asked the friend to call her Mom and ask if it would be OK for me to take her home. I couldn't just leave the girl by herself. The Mom didn't answer her phone the 1st 20 times that I called. I was furious. I can't believe she did that. When I finally did make contact she said she was at a bookstore, so I ended up dropping her off there.

    Saturday I watched the Auburn/LSU game - War Damn Eagle Baby! After the game I rode my bike with GI Joe. I thought it would be my legs that were sore but it's my ASS! I'm going to have to get a wide load seat for my bike.

    Sunday I cleaned a little (very little) and ate everything I could.

    I have booked my tickets to New York and I have to get back into shape before the end of November. I walked today during lunch and might walk again tonight. Wish me luck!

    Take Care,
    The Cake Lady

    Friday, September 15, 2006

    TGIF

    I made it through Thursday. I never did figure out what I was forgetting but I panicked at least 2 times. I took GI Joe to his football game and when we got there, I suddenly became overwhelmed because I thought I had got the time wrong and had missed the game. As it turns out, I was early. Then I went to the grocery store and walked around like a lost puppy through the isles trying to remember what I was there for. Last night I dreamed all night (surprise, surprise) I dreamed about men that found me attractive. I have no idea who these men were but I remember that I was attracted to them all. I guess the weird thing is that I was attracted to all of them, I think there were about 6 men. In real life I always seem to find some reason why I'm not attracted to them.

    All I want to do today is go to sleep. I am in a funk for sure. At least I don't have to get out of bed tomorrow at any certain time.

    TGIF
    The Cake Lady

    Thursday, September 14, 2006

    What did I forget?

    I can't shake this feeling that I have forgotten something really important. I got Queenie and GI Joe to school today. I fed the demonic bitch from hell. I walked Mr. Jones. I put deodorant on. I brushed my teeth. I took a shower (didn't shave my legs but didn't intend to) I have paid all my bills. I turned off all the lights in the house before I left. What could it be?

    I am working on booking a trip to New York City in December. Queenie turns 16 in December and as far back as I can remember we have planned to go to NYC for her 16th Birthday. I need some help with a dilemma about the luggage. We don't want to fly back at the crack of dawn. We would really like to leave around 4:30. But what could we do with our luggage for all that time??? Any suggestions?

    Take Care and Don't forget anything!
    The Cake Lady

    Wednesday, September 13, 2006

    I must be PMSing

    Do any of you ladies out there ever feel like you could eat anything and everything in site, right before the curse hits? I hope that is what's up with me. Yesterday I could not stop eating and today is not looking so promising. I ate some oatmeal this morning and that has satisfied me for the moment but all I can think about is what am I going to eat for Lunch and it's only 10:00. I am not hungry I'm just not satisfied. On a good note, I have really done well with my exercising. That is probably the only reason that I am not the size of a blimb. I also feel sort of lost because this is the 1st time in 8 months that I don't have a lottery ticket to check. I need to get a hobby or something. I'm thinking of taking up ballroom dancing.

    I really feel old since reading Tricks blog. I remember 9/11 very well and I also remember when the chalanger blew up.

    I hope I have something more interesting to say later.
    Take Care,
    The Cake Lady

    Tuesday, September 12, 2006

    Who has my soup pot's???

    Have you ever dreamed something that seemed so real that you just can't shake it after you wake up? Last night I dreamed that one of my girlfriends wanted to cook her boyfriend some vegetable soup but she didn't know how to cook, so she enlisted my help. I cooked the soup for her then we got into his truck that was so far off the ground that he had to help us in the truck. We went to his house to eat the soup. When we got there the Bitch girlfriend of his had already made some sort of soup called wedding day soup and it was white. Anyway, he took me home and promised to bring back my soup pots. I woke up looking for those damned pots. They are there but I have this nagging feeling that something else is missing and I don't know what it is.

    My sister Norma Jean is going through some sort of episode and it is just about to piss me off. She shuts people out when she is having problems but never me. I am keeping Mr. Jones for her till Friday and if she doesn't call me soon, I may have to hold Mr. Jones hostage.

    GI Joe was sick again last night. Upset stomach and headache. He was fine this morning, thank God!

    It is raining cats and dogs right now. I hope that football practice gets cancelled tonight. That is about all I have for now. Everyone is gone from the office again and I will have to cover for everyone again. Can't wait - NOT!!!
    Take Care,
    The Cake Lady

    Wednesday, September 06, 2006

    Just plain give out!

    OK - Now you know what the topic of my blog is, let's get to the nitty gritty.
    Between GI Joe, my ex-husband, my job and lack of sleep. I am just flat worn out. I spent most of the weekend tutoring GI Joe with his Math. I should have just cut his arm off, things would have gone much smoother. Then Asshole called yesterday and had me thinking that the 11 year old GI Joe is going to be a drop out when he gets to high school. And even though he didn't say it, I managed to feel like this was all my fault. I hate myself for feeling that way. I believe this is the first time in my life that I would like to be a stay at home mom. I feel like GI Joe needs extra attention and I'm not able to be there for him. I know it's not my fault but that motherly thing has just crawled all over me. I am covering for 3 people that are out this week, and if any of you are in sales you will know that it's very hectic to kiss everyone's ass, there is just not enough time in the day for all those asses. Oh and last but not least, I haven't slept in 2 or 3 days.

    Take Care,
    The frustrated Cake Lady!

    Wednesday, August 30, 2006

    What Kind of Car are You???

    http://www.tomorrowland.us/sportscar/

    I am a Mazda Miata, Trick is a Lotis Elise (what the hell is that?)

    These are the Things That Make Me Happy (Today)

    August 30, 2006

    Good Morning Everyone!
    Today I am reminded of the things that make me happy. As I walked outside to take the piglets to school, I walked into a re-run of Family Vacation. Queenie and GI Joe were fighting because Queenie hit GI Joe, because GI Joe farted on her, because Queenie pushed GI Joe because...Oh who the hell cares? I'm just wondering if my neighbors think some redneck hillbillies have moved in. If my neighbors are trying to sleep late they can just forget it. Then I got in the car and heard on the radio that during our great presidents interview that some CNN reporter left her wireless mike on while she went to pee. This is one of the things that makes me happy. I got the biggest kick out of listening to her talk about her "Control Freak Sister Inlaw". Can my day get any better? YES it can. After dropping Queenie off, I proceeded to take GI Joe to school. GI Joe started tucking his shirt in his pants. What is this????? It seems that our Huntsville City School system may be turning things around. Now all boys are required to tuck in their shirts. Yesterday when GI Joe entered the school he was caught with his shirt untucked and the shirt tail narc made him, and several other boys do push-ups. Oh my heart be still!!!!! Because it came to me that tomorrow when we exit the house, if Queenie and GI Joe start with their bullshit he/she touched, farted, kicked, spit or any other form of contact, I am just going to sit down on the porch and tell them to give me 10. And I'm not budging till they get er done!
    Mom will prevail! This too makes me happy!
    Have a good one!
    The Cake Lady

    Tuesday, August 29, 2006

    Terrible Tuesday!

    August 29, 2006

    Tuesday's are what Monday's are to most people. This Tuesday is no different, as a matter of fact it's worse. We just got the leak in our air conditioner fixed and the carpets cleaned. This morning I walk in the office to find the back window in a co-workers office smashed in. Dumbass'es didn't even have sence enough to take anything. I guess they didn't figure a double pain glass would be so hard to break. They made a mess, so now I have to help CC with her work because she can't get in her office for all the freaking glass. The clean up crew are here now. That damn shop vac needs a tune up. It sounds like it's trying to lift of the ground!

    Take care everyone,
    The Cake Lady!

    Monday, August 28, 2006

    Catching Up

    August 28th, 2006

    Hey everyone!
    I tried to post Friday but had some technical difficulties and all that hard work just went to cyberspace hell. So, just let me briefly catch you up.

    Thursday my Mom and I met Aunt J and playboy for a drink. Aunt J said she just needed to get out for a little while and had no plans to come back out. We all left at around 6:00pm. Then me and Mama met my sister Norma Jean and her 2 rug rats for dinner. Before we finished dinner Aunt J called and said that she couldn't stand it any longer, she was going out and wanted Mom and me to join her and so we did. Mom and I got downtown and waited and waited for Aunt J. I finally called her to ask where she was and she said she was waiting on a cab to pick her up. Then we waited and waited some more. I finally called her back to ask what the hold up was. She said she thought the cabbie was drunk because he got lost. NO WAY! Could it be the same driver that got lost coming to my house last night???? I went outside to wait for Aunt J to see for myself and HELL YES! What are the chances???? All you cab riders in Huntsville do not get in cab #18 with a driver named John. You might never get there.

    Friday ended up a good night but it was not looking to promising. A friend of mine turned 50 and me and a bunch of other people were to meet her and her husband at a local restaurant/bar for dinner. Me and the party planner got there with balloons and children in hand only to find out that no one under 19 is allowed in a smoking restaurant. What a freaking nightmare, trying to find a restaurant to accommodate 14 people on a Saturday night. We finally did find one and I went to the bar 1st thing. As soon as I got some much needed alcohol in me, I felt better. Afterwards I got the Limo to drop me back off at the original dinner place. I met Aunt J and Playboy and whiskey dick. We were only there for about 30 minutes and decided to venture out to another bar. I drank lot's of beer, Trick would have been proud of me. Then took a cab home. Another good night with friends and beer.

    Saturday I didn't do much. GI Joe called and asked if he could come to my house early so I picked him up, then me and Mom and GI Joe went shopping. I didn't buy a thing but I did a lot of window shopping for collared shirts. Later Mom and Queenie went to see Mama Mia, and me and GI Joe rented a movie and had steak out. It was a very relaxing evening. I didn't even dream anything.

    Sunday was a lazy day. Me and Mom and GI Joe went to eat at the IHOP, then went back home and did a lot of nothing. I picked up Queenie and cooked dinner last night. Everyone seems in good health today. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I had all frozen food and put it in the oven. Chicken Marcela, Scalloped potatoes and green bean casserole. Everything was good except the green bean casserole, it was nasty. It came from Apple Lane Farms. I do not recommend it. Overall, it was a nice meal.

    Thursday, August 24, 2006

    There is an old Woman Trapped in the Lint Trap of my Dryer

    August 24th, 2006

    OK - Now that you know what I was dreaming about last night. That is all I will say about the dream except that all night that Bitch cried in agony that I didn't care that she was stuck in my lint trap. I knew it was a dream because I clean my lint trap every time I use the dryer.

    Another typical Wednesday night. I had a good time, my Mom is visiting me from Florida. I took her out to meet the Gang (Trick, Margarita, & Aunt J). Since the city of Huntsville Police Dept is doing such a fine job of taking people to jail for drunk driving and I was in the mood to drink, my Mom and I took a Taxi to our favorite watering hole. The Taxi driver was a trip. He went to my neighbors house while my Mom and I are standing on the porch trying to waive him down. When he finally figured out that we were not waiving off flys he picked us up and asked if we knew Epicurus, which neigher one of us did. He informed us that Epicurus was a great philosopher. At this point I am thinking "Who the hell cares just get us there". I had to tell him directions and occasionally poke him in the side to wake him up. He drove all of 20 miles per hour. I thought we would never get there. When we did get there all the gang was already there. I don't know how we got on the subject of my nipples, but Margarita was on a mission to find out if my nipples were big or small. I think they are about average. That was about it for the evening.
    Take Care,
    The Cake Lady!

    Wednesday, August 23, 2006

    No Rest for the Wicked!

    August 23, 2006,

    Does anyone know where that phrase came from "No Rest for the Wicked"? I am getting no rest and I am not wicked. God knows I want to be, but it aint happening. My sister Norma Jean spent the night with me last night and she brought her weenie dog "Mr. Jones" with her. That damn dog adores me. I don't know why because for the longest I hated weenie dogs. But they finally broke me and now I am a weenie dog lover. Norma Jean spent the night at my house last night because she had to be at Hampton Cove golf course at 6:15am this morning. Norma Jean lives out in the boonies and I live in location, location, location! Mr. Jones chose to sleep with me last night. It was just like having a new born. He slept right next to me. If I moved him, he came right back. He started crying at 4:30am because he needed to go outside to do his business. I can only imagine what the neighbors say about me. So, out we go at 4:30am. I am standing there in my favorite granny gown, bed hair and granny glasses. The only thing missing was the furry house shoes and a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. I hope I wake up soon because today is Wednesday. Wednesday is my cruising night. I don't know why I bother, if I found someone I wouldn't do anything. My Mom is coming to visit for a couple of weeks so I will have to wake up because she is a freaking party animal.
    Take Care,
    The Cake Lady!

    Tuesday, August 22, 2006

    New Characters

    August 22, 2006

    Hi Everyone,
    Today I feel so much better than yesterday. No weird dreams last night and no evil flights in the night. The only thing I am thinking of right now is the fact that my ex-husband who I will call Asshole will get my e-mail that I sent yesterday. Asshole is dating a woman who has the same name as me but that's all that we share. Queenie refers to her as Hitler and It is a fitting name. Hitler is under the delusion that my children are hers and has told people that my children are hers. I haven't seen nor spoke to Hitler since I informed her (in her face) that my children were in no way hers. It has since come to my attention that Hitler is now telling people that my children are her step children. I sent an e-mail to Asshole telling him that it was an improvement in Hitlers psychotic behavior for her to refer to my kids as her step kids and not her own children. I also added in the e-mail a note asking him when he plans to get a vasectomy. That should really get him riled up!!!

    It's Tuesday and I have no plans for today. I might go play bingo at the Eagles club tonight. Sorry - this is about exciting as it gets for me.

    Take Care,
    The Cake Lady

    Monday, August 21, 2006

    The Piglets are gone

    August 21, 2006

    Good Morning Everyone!
    Let me start by saying that I love my piglets. From here out they will be referred to as Queenie and GI Joe. As mentioned in the previous post GI Joe is in a cast and walking on crutches. Queenie is a typcial 15 year old girl. GI Joe is a typical 11 year old. Actually they are my children so they are anything but typical. Queenie and GI Joe were at each others throat all weekend. Which translates to mama being driven insane. My house has 5 TV's in it. 1 in my room (The vacant love palace). 1 in GI Joe's room, 1 in Queenie's room, 1 TV in the living room (or pig pen), 1 TV in the playroom. Queenie instigates a lot with GI Joe. She waits for him to go to the bathroom then runs into the pig pen and changes the channel, then when GI Joe gets back from the bathroom she insists that she has been there the whole time. In a nut shell all I heard this weekend was Mama GI Joe is....., Mama Queenie is....... I try retreating to the vacant love palace and they find a way in there. Locks do not work with these children. I just wanted to pull my hair out and judging from what is in my bathtub, I think that I did.

    On top of being driven insane by the piglets, I can't sleep. I haven't slept in a while. Strange things happen during my dreams. My dreams are so vivid that sometimes I can't remember if I dreamed it or if it really happened. Or, I dream (I hope I'm dreaming) that I am being posessed by something evil. I fly through the air and I know when I'm flying that it is not good. And just in case you are wondering I do not do mind altering drugs. Unless you count wine. I am not an unattractive woman, I just have a hard time letting my guard down. They must pass the Cake Lady test before they get an invitation to the love palace and only 2 men in 4 1/2 years have ever passed that test.

    The piglets are with thier dad for the week so I will be out cruising the streets of Huntsville for potential Cake Lady candidates and Cake.

    Take care,
    The Cake Lady

    Friday, August 18, 2006

    Getting Started

    Friday August 18, 2006

    Today I woke up and had a really good feeling about the day. After all, it is Friday. I was ready to tackle the day. My 11 year old son even asked for a collared shirt instead of the usual T-shirt this morning. My heart actually stopped for a moment and I thanked God that he had listened to my prayers. A collared shirt - YES!!!! All was well,
    As I walked outside to take him to school, I thought he was leaning over to shut the door and then it happened. He was throwing up. I was in shock. He was fine when he left the house and walked the 20 steps to the car. How could this be??? No one would see the collared shirt! Not only that but he has only been in school for less than 2 wks and he has missed a bunch already. Monday he felt sick and he checked out, Tuesday he went to school. Wednesday he went in late because at football Tuesday practice Tuesday night he broke his ankle and the emergency room doesn't have crutches, go figure!. Thursday was a full day and now he is out again. Trust me when I say, he needs to be there. I'll tell you more about the cake lady later.